Death is not an option
by TheAntelopicNatureGirl.Says U
Summary: Two girls fall into HP. Overused plot but with a twist, there IS a bad guy and he may not even be a guy after all. Will Sirius and James make new friends? Will one of our OC's fall for Sirius? WILL THE MARAUDERS STAY AWESOME? Find out inside! xo Tang
1. The Thing About Trains

Hope you guys all like the new style because I do.

My story is about the marauders because they are awesome and are easier to write about and I like them.

By the way, I only own Amy and Jess and anything else that doesn't sit right with you.

**Hello I'm Iz the beta/friend of this person! I did NOT hack into this accountshifty eyes**

* * *

Amy slammed her book shut in annoyance.

"Doesn't it bug you that none of this stuff is real?" Amy asked as she waved her book around violently.

"Yeah, I hate it how our world is so boring." Jess said sarcastically without looking at her.

"No, really. I just wish that we could go and live with these guys. They have adventures every day and all we get to do is learn about old dead guys who made history."

"That's because we live in Australia, 21st century and we don't have any sort of magical abilities. And they live in England, in I don't know what century and they have all the magic in the world."

"Yeah, but I would still love it if we got to see the marauders."

"Me too, Amy. Me too."

Amy and Jess just sat and thought about what it would be like if they did live in England, went to Hogwarts and had all the magical ability in the world. The train slowly chugged along, through the humid, summer air.

Then the train came to a sudden halt, throwing Amy and Jess's bags three metres into the air and hitting some poor old lady in the head.

"Oh, shit." Jess jumped up and retrieved their bags from a very disdained looking grandma.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Jess walked back to her seat next to Amy.

"What the eff was that all about?" Amy asked curiously.

"I dunno. The next stop shouldn't be for another ten minutes."

"Maybe we've broken down or the driver had a heart attack."

"Maybe."

Amy shuffled around impatiently, constantly looking out the window and checking her watch.

"If they don't start up soon, we're gonna be late for roll call."

"Mm hm." Jess thought about doing something about it, because Amy was right and they really didn't need any more detentions with Mr. Stewart.

"Hey Amy, I'm gonna go up to the driver and see what's happened. You coming?"

"Yeah, sure." Amy jumped up and bounced along behind Jess.

The train was really empty today, thought Jess as she walked up through the section that joined their carriage with the drivers'.

"Hello, anybody there?" Amy wandered around the various driving mechanisms tapping each one as she went.

"Amy, stop it. You might do something to the train." Jess said, just as a loud crashing sound echoed through the compartment.

"I didn't do it." Amy squealed.

"You broke something."

"No I didn't."

Jess walked cautiously towards the compartment's door. Then opened it to see the rest of the train sliding backwards down the tracks to the bottom of the hill.

"Now look what you've done." Jess screamed.

"I'm sorry." She squeaked.

"Now what?"

"I don't know." Amy squealed, panicking and jumping up and down.

"Well, at least we can't go anywhere." Jess sighed as she picked up their bags.

"You sure about that?" Amy squealed again and pointed out the front window.

Jess slowly turned around, scared to see what her friends clumsiness had caused this time.

"Aaaaagh." Jess screamed, and ran around pressing buttons.

"How funny is that? We stopped right on the top of a hill, so we either fall backwards into the rest of the train or we plunge down to the other side of the mountain. Huh." Amy said cheerily.

"Thankyou, Amy. For pointing out the obvious."

"Well, look on the bright side. We aren't crashing into the rest of the train." Amy shrugged.

"Oh, yay." Jess grunted sarcastically.

"Hey, Jess."

"Yes." Jess said icily.

"What do you reckon this button does?"

"Well, if it says stop, brake or 'prevent the driving carriage from plunging to its doom', I suggest you press it."

"It says HP."

"What?"

"HP. What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know." Jess said impatiently.

"It could be… 'halt plunging'." Amy said thoughtfully.

"Or it could be 'happy penguins' but if you think it'll help, then press it."

"Ok." Amy said as she slammed her hand down onto the big blue button.

The train sped up, the ground at the bottom coming steadily closer.

"Amy, all you did is make it worse."

"I was only trying to help."

"Well don't. Now we're going faster."

"Well, duh."

"I could kill you Amy, but it looks like you're gonna die anyway."

The hills beside them were a blur, the ground became closer and closer and closer. The tracks suddenly turned around the mountain and the girls' compartment flew through the air, over the river below until they crashed into the grass on the other side.

--------------

"Ugh, Amy. You there?" Jess lifted her head slightly, groaning.

"Yeah, over here. Our stuff landed on me so the roof didn't crush me."

"Good for you. Now next time you decide to send us flying through the air, warn me. I won't come."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, well at least we're not dead."

"True."

"How do we get up?"

"I don't know, there's half a train compartment on me."

"Same."

"You know, not many people could survive having a train fall on them."

"Yeah. A train _compartment_."

"How about we call someone?"

"Yeah. K. You have our bags."

"Uhu."

Jess lay there thinking about how much fun that actually was, despite the fact that they almost died. It could be a ride at Dreamworld someday. She started to wander into fantasy land, thinking about how rich they would be if they came up with the idea of a ride that sent kids flying through the air.

"Hey Jess."

"Mm."

"It's gone all retarded."

"Have you turned it on?"

"Oh, right." Amy pressed a button on the phone, it didn't do anything and she got frustrated attacking the button. "IT's not turning on."

"Really." Jess sat up as far as she could with a train on top of her.

"Yeah, it died."

"That's weird, oh wait, no it's not. Its called dead battery." she said sarcastically.

Then suddenly, the train shrunk and rolled down the hill.

"That's wierder." Amy said.

The girls got up and looked around. To their surprise, it wasn't summer anymore. It was freezing cold and snowing.

"Ok." Jess was really confused now.

"Lets start walking." Amy said and started trekking up the hill.

"K." Jess's mind was somewhere else now.

Amy was about one hundred metres ahead of Jess and she had their bags. Amy went up over a little hill and yelled out to Jess.

"Hey, you gotta come see this."

Jess raced up to her, and stopped dead in her tracks.

"It can't be."

"It could be."

Before them stood a magnificent castle, even higher than the Harbour Bridge and wider than the Bass Strait. They stared at it in awe.

"I think it's Hogwarts." Amy whispered.

"That's not possible."

"What do you mean_ that's not possible_?"

"It's impossible for a make-believe castle from a story to be real. And anyway, it's in England."

"Well, you wanna explain to me any other reason for it to just start snowing. And a massive castle to just appear out of nowhere."

"Well, it could be global warming?"

"And the castle?"

"Movie set?"

"Must be one big movie if they cover the entire state with fake snow."

"But it just doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't have to." Amy said as she clambered down the hill towards the castle.

"Well maybe an adventure is just what we need right now." Jess said to herself as she watched Amy run excitedly towards the entrance to her favourite place in this world and the next.

* * *

What do you think?

The characters from the book will come in in the next chapter, don't worry.

Like I'd write a story without the main characters in it.

p.s. sorry about any grammatical errors for you English nerds out there but my shift key ran away so sometimes it works, but, more often than not, it doesn't.** And if you didn't read the top I'm the beta so it should be slightly better. Oh and R&R!!  
**


	2. Happennings Of Coincidence

In case you forgot, Amy and Jess have just stumbled upon Hogwarts after a near death train wreck.

Fast updates rock, hey?

* * *

Three loud knocks echoed through the entrance hall of the castle. To be followed by eleven more, to the tune of the AAPT smart chat ad.

"Amy, stop it." Jess said as she yanked Amy's hand away from the giant oak doors.

The doors swung open and Amy ran inside. Jess stumbled up the stairs after her.

"Amy, get back here."

"No, I want to explore. I've never been to an enchanted castle before."

"I wonder why." Jess muttered.

"What was that?" Amy spun around.

"Oh, nothing." Jess said as Amy ran off again.

After about thirty minutes of running around, Amy found herself at the stone gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office. Jess stopped behind her, puffing.

"Whatzat?" Jess said, keeling over.

"Dumbledore's office."

"Uh, no. I don't think so. We're not in England and this isn't Hogwarts." Jess said, deterred.

"Whatever." Amy walked forward and started circling the gargoyle, trying to figure out a way in.

"The password is usually some type of lolly. Hmm. What would I put as a password if I was Dumbledore…" Amy muttered to herself.

"It's not going to work." Jess said smugly.

Amy ignored her and continued trying to find the password.

"Dumbledore is a bit odd, so what about chicken toe toffee?" She asked the gargoyle.

The stone gargoyle came to life and hopped to the side. Amy smiled smugly at Jess.

"That doesn't prove anything. It could be electronic."

"Whatever you say. But sceptic's don't get wands."

Jess groaned and followed her up the spiral staircase.

"Where is everyone?" Amy asked herself.

"Probably not here, because they don't exist." Jess pointed out.

"It's probably just holidays or something. We're at school now so they aren't. It's our last week so they probably won't start until our school year finishes." Amy explained to Jess and herself.

"That doesn't make any sense." Jess walked up to the door to knock politely but Amy ran forward and burst through the doors.

"Hello, this is Jess and I'm Amy. We're from Australia." Amy said, a lot louder than she should've, according to Jess.

An old man with a greying beard and long, greying hair looked up from his paperwork over his half moon spectacles.

"And I'm professor Albus Dumbledore, welcome to Hogwarts." He stood up and opened his arms in welcome.

"Told you so." Amy said, and poked her tongue out at her folded armed friend.

"Sorry, sir. I could've sworn you said welcome to _Hogwarts_." Jess asked politely.

"Yes, I did. Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am professor Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of this fine establishment." He said, smiling.

"Amy, I don't think we're in Australia anymore." Jess said, mocking Dorothy from Kansas.

"So professor, where is everyone?" Amy butted in.

"Why the students are on their holidays, of course."

"It's just that, where we come from we're still at school, and it's summer."

"Naturally. Because you live on the other side of the globe."

"Yeah. You're right. So, we don't know how we got here and we don't know how to get back." Amy said, starting to sound as worried as Jess felt.

"Well, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like."

"But professor, we're not witches. We're just muggles." Jess said worriedly.

"You'd be surprised how much magic you have in you. It sounds like you used a bit of magic to get here, even though you didn't know it. You must've been thinking of the same thing as you flew through the air."

"And what was that?" Jess asked,

"Hogwarts."

"Oh, yeah. But not exactly Hogwarts, more the people in it." When Amy flew through the air she thought about the marauders and how much fun she'd have if she was at Hogwarts.

"Yeah." When Jess flew through the air, she thought about her book and how she hoped her bookmark didn't fall out of the spot in it, which was, coincidentally, about the marauders.

"Well girls, while you're here, you'll have to be having an education, so you shall be attending classes with the rest of the students. How old are you two?"

"We're fifteen." They said together.

"Well then." Dumbledore said, clapping his hands together. "You shall be attending fifth year classes and when the students get back, you will be sorted into your houses. Let's hope you stay together." He winked. "You can stay in whichever dormitory you like until then." He smiled and handed them wands. "These are temporary, just so no one gets all suspicious and asks odd questions. You can use them as much as you like. If you can use them, I'm not so sure how it works with you guys. And don't tell anyone you aren't from here. You're exchange students from…"

"Australia!" Amy said.

"Yes, that works,so say that. Bye now."

The girls walked out of the headmasters' office, both in two completely different states of minds. Amy was ecstatic about being at Hogwarts, jumping around and squealing at regular intervals, whereas Jess was worried out of her mind about being in a different country and missing school, so she was trying to abstain her friends clumsiness.

Amy spun around, with her arms outstretched and her eyes closed. She ran into a suit of armour and it clattered to the ground, in pieces.

"Ooh, sorry." Amy apologised.

"Oh, that's alright. I felt like lying down anyway." The suit clanked back. Jess screamed.

"It talks."

"Well duh. You have read the books, haven't you? Or do you just stare at the pages for all that time? Anyway, where do you wanna sleep?" Amy said, really, really fast.

"Uh, what about Grffindor?" She replied after she'd deciphered what the tall, chocolate coloured haired girl said.

"Ok. Sounds cool." Amy said as she danced off towards Griffindor tower.

Jess picked up the bags that her crazy friend had dropped as she knocked over the many breakable, priceless things in the castle. When she got up to the dorm where they were sleeping, Amy was already sprawled between four beds that she had pushed together.

"Hey, Jess. Look, we got robes. And they fit me perfectly." Amy said happily.

"Yippee." Jess didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"What's up? Why aren't you happy that we have found Hogwarts? It's the dream of a thousand kids we're living here." Amy asked.

"I don't know, it's still confusing and not possible and not making sense and…" Jess sighed. "It's weird."

"You know, things don't have to be logical to be fun." Amy said.

"But that's the only way that proves it's not a dream."

"Who cares if it's a dream? I aint goin' nowhere until I've had as many adventures as I possibly can in this place."

"How can you not care about school and grades and be completely cool about everything. If something goes wrong or right, you don't care. You just go with it."

"Well, maybe you should too. The stress is probably what gives you that acne."

"I'm going to bed."

"Fine, but I'm gonna keep talking until I fall asleep." Amy said as she turned off the light.

"What house do you reckon you'll be in?" Amy asked as she slid into bed.

"Uh, I don't know." Jess said, half asleep.

"I reckon you'll be in Ravenclaw, because you're smart. Not Griffindor because you're a pussy. What do you think I'll be in?"

"Uh, Griffindor because you don't care about anything. Or Slytherin because you're evil."

"Which one do you reckon it'll be?"

"Dunno, maybe both."

* * *

Too bad mine aren't fast updates. Sorry my chappies are so short but I run out of ideas really quickly. I'll have lots of chappies though so say yay! I mean it, say YAY!


	3. Boredom And Arguing

Ok, the marauders actually will be in this chappy. Sorry I put it off for so long. My details might be a bit off but I've admitted it, so just enjoy the storyline, ok?

* * *

Jess opened her eyes to see Amy staring at her and singing.

"Na na, na na. Na na, na na. Elmo's world."

Jess got up, rubbed her eyes and got the other clothes she had out of her bag to have a shower.

"Na na, na na. Na na, na na. Elmo's world."

Jess started the shower and got in.

"Elmo loves his goldfish, his crayons too."

Jess got out, got dressed and brushed her long, black, fuzzy hair into a ponytail.

"That's Elmo's world." Amy sung really loudly, standing up on her bed to lift her arms up for a big finish. Then she fell down.

"You know, that was stupid." Jess said bluntly.

"Yes, I did. Or I wouldn't have done it." Amy said as she got up really fast.

"Ok." Jess said, raising her eyebrows. "You'd better get dressed into different clothes so the uh, people, can wash them and you have clothes to wear tomorrow." Jess said, not looking away from the mirror.

"Okicoke." Amy said.

Amy went into the bathroom with her bag and came out wearing some bright blue skinny jeans and a fluoro bubbly tank top with an assortment of bright blue bangles and beads and big hoop earrings.

"It hurts to look at you." Jess said.

"That's nice." Amy said sarcastically.

"You're so bright." Jess said.

"Thankyou."

"Matches your personality."

"Yay."

"But not your brain."

"Hey."

"Kidding."

"Sure."

"May I ask why you are so colourful today?" Jess enquired.

"Because, tonight is when the kids get back. And I want to draw some attention."

"Well, you'll draw some attention, alright." Jess said, then muttered. "I'm not sure it'll be good attention though."

The girls put their school robes on over their clothes. Jess put hers on perfectly, by the book. Amy cut hers so when she put it on, the hem went from her left hip to her right foot. The top of it was cut so the neckline plunged and you could see her fluoro shirt. Then she cut out heart shapes all over the top half.

"What do you think?" Amy spun.

"I think you'll get in trouble."

"And I think you need to get a life."

"Just because you cut up your robes and wear blinding colour, doesn't mean I have to."

"Oh yes it does." Amy said as she rounded on Jess with the scissors.

When Amy finished with Jess's robes, they had spots all over the bottom half and every hem and edge was wavy.

"Now you can't get in trouble alone." Jess said.

"Now what makes you think we're going to get into trouble."

"Oh, I don't know. It's just against the rules and you get into trouble for breaking the rules." Jess said hysterically.

"Get over it."

"No."

"We don't go to this school so logically we can't get into trouble anyway."

"Still."

Amy grabbed her folded arms and dragged her out the door, downstairs for breakfast. The four house tables were gone because there were no students to sit at them. There was one small round table in the middle of the ginormous hall, that had the staff sitting at it and a couple of students, eating. It looked quite funny, actually.

"Come on." Amy groaned, as she yanked Jess into the hall.

"But the teachers will get up me."

"Who cares, technically we're not students." Jess couldn't argue with that logic.

"Hey, you're right." Jess stopped struggling and walked in, happily.

"Hello girls, sit down." Professor Dumbledore said to the girls.

Amy and Jess sat down and grabbed food from the many overflowing plates.

"Everyone, this is Amy and Jess. They're from Australia."

"Hello, girls." They all said.

"Hi." Amy and Jess said together.

They ate the rest of breakfast without saying anything else.

"That's some good food there." Amy said when she'd finished, swinging back on her chair.

"Amy." Jess said in a loud whisper.

"Oh, no. That's all right. It is good food." Professor Flitwick said in a squeaky voice, and swung back on his chair, but his feet missed the table and he fell backwards onto the ground. Jess hurried to help him up.

Amy finished her apple juice (she hated pumpkins) and stood up. "Well we'll see you at dinner. Bye" Amy ran out of the hall, then ran back and grabbed Jess.

--------------

"You are such a klutz. You know that?" Jess said, staring at the sky.

"Mm Hm." Amy was staring at the giant squid's ripples on the black lake, getting bored.

"I'm bored."Amy said.

"I'm not." Jess said.

Amy counted in her head. 1, 2, 3...

"Ok, now I'm bored." Jess said.

"When are the Hogwartsian's gonna get here?" Amy whined.

"At six."

"Ugh." Amy groaned. "I'm gonna go climb a tree."

"You do that."

"I will." And Amy ran up to the tree closest to them and swung herself up and climbed higher until she ran out of tree and just sat there.

Jess lay on her stomach, trailing her fingers in the water.

"Make time go faster." Jess said boredly.

"I can't."

"Go get a time turner then."

"You go get it."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No."

"Go."

"No, shut up."

"Fine."

"Well that took up like ten minutes." Jess said.

"Hey, yeah." Amy said, brightening up. "What time is it?"

"It is the time it is now." Jess said.

Amy groaned in annoyance.

"I don't know, you're the one with the watch." Jess said whinily.

"Then go look at the massive clock inside."

"Fine, I will." Jess got up and went inside slowly then ran back outside quickly.

"Shit, Amy. It's six already. They're here."

--------------

"Please students. Settle down now. Quiet please." Professor McGonagall said over the chatter of students. When they hushed, she continued.

"Now, students I have some announcements as usual and first of all I would like to ask…" She went on and on for what seemed like forever until she got to the end.

"Now students. We have two new girls this year, from Australia. Amy and Jess." Professor McGonagall ushered the girls up the front of the hall. Some boys from Griffindor snored and Jess went bright red.

"These girls need to be sorted into their houses." Professor McGonagall said as she picked up the sorting hat and some students groaned.

Jess walked up first, looking really shy and Amy scanned the crowd of people in front of her. She tried to find the idiots that snored at her and Jess. She found them. Sitting together on the Griffindor table. But before she could see their faces, the sorting hat called out a house for her best friend.

"Ravenclaw!" The Ravenclaw table cheered. _Hey_, Amy thought. _I was right_._What if Jess was right about me. _As she walked up to the stool and sat down, her thoughts elsewhere.

"Hmm, wow, this one's weird." The hat said.

"Hey." Amy said.

"Sorry. Well, you could be smart if you thought about things, but you don't. You are a real troublemaker, that's for sure. You are quite brave, but only because you don't think about the consequences of your actions until after you've done them. Hmm. Slytherin or Griffindor. Hmm."

Kids from each house yelled out her name. But it was even. The hat couldn't decide, and neither could Amy. Then she realised who those boys were. They were the marauders.

But the marauders came from…

"Griffindor!" The hat shouted.

Amy was ecstatic, she jumped off the stool and ran over to sit in between James and Sirius and gave them both a hug. James raised his eyebrows and looked over at Lily. Sirius just shrugged and tried to introduce himself.

"Hey, Amy. My name -"

"Is Sirius Black." Amy finished, still overly happy.

"Ok, creepy. And this is -"

"James, Lupin and Peter." Amy cut him off again, grinning.

"And -" Sirius started again, slowly, to see if she knew what he was going to say next, and she did.

"You call yourself the marauders. And James is in love with Lily but she won't go out with him. And…" Amy said the next part in a whisper. "You're all unregistered animagus's and Lupin is a werewolf."

"Ok, now I wasn't going to tell you that. But somehow you already know, so, yeah." said Sirius with a confuzzled look in his face.

--------------

After the feast, Jess came back up to Griffindor tower to get her bags and talk to Amy.

"Hey, Jess!" Amy squealed, she was literally jumping from bed to bed, kind of creeping out the rest of the fifth year girls, but Lily Evans was laughing.

"Yes, Amy." Jess mocked her enthusiasm, but then started to laugh.

"Guess what? We came into the marauders' time, not Harry's. Isn't that great?" Amy said gleefully, still bouncing around.

"Yeah. I didn't think I recognised any of the Ravenclaw's. And I thought I saw you trying to talk up Sirius?" Jess didn't have to mock her enthusiasm this time.

"No, no, no. Jess, My friend, that is all part of the evil master plan. That will not be revealed until later. Mwa ha ha!" Amy tapped her fingers like Mr. Burns off the Simpsons and laughed manically.

"Strange child." Jess said as she watched Amy jump up and down on the beds again. "Hey, Lily."

"Yes, Jess." Lily answered, after she stopped laughing at Amy.

"Do you like that Snape kid?" Jess asked, _her_ evil plan starting to fall into place.

"Yeah, we've been friends since we were like two." She answered.

"I studied, uh, Divination, pretty heavily last year and I can do future-telling now." Jess lied.

"Oh, yeah. Predict something for me now then." Lily said, unbelievingly.

"Ok." Jess rubbed her temples with her fingers and pretended to be getting some sort of magical force from somewhere. "I see that you will have a falling-out with a long-had friend. I also see that you will fall for someone who has been after you for five years. I also see that tomorrow we will have pudding." Lily laughed at the last one. But she still wasn't convinced.

"We'll see." She said, then turned to the oblivious, jumping, dancing, exhausted Amy. "You might wanna stop that before you collapse, or the bed collapses."

"I'll be right." Amy sung. Then she jumped really high then came back down and missed the bed, landing on the floor.

"I did that on purpose." She said, stumbling over to her bag and putting it in a trunk, donated by Dumbledore.

"I'm gonna go, before someone gets hurt. Namely me. G'night" Jess said, picking her bag up and leaving down the stairs.

"Night." Amy said as the fat lady swung back over the hole downstairs.

"Why were you talking to those boys at dinner?" Lily asked Amy as they got ready for bed.

"Because they're the marauders." Amy stated as if it was obvious.

"So? They're stuck-up, idiots who can't tell a shoe from a quill. They go and hex anyone just because they can."

"Mm hm. Good night." Amy said.

_It might be a problem, being friends with people who weren't exactly loving each other. Except for James. _Amy thought as she fell asleep.

* * *

Yay, go marauders! Happy chappys, just being happy. Evil plans… mwa ha ha! Hehe.

I need some ideas for Amy's evil plans. If you have any superbly evil ones, let me know.


	4. Beds Are Better

Hmm, I feel like swimming. Go swim if you have a pool. Because I don't. Humph.

* * *

"Get up! You're gonna be late!" Lily Evans yelled hysterically to the still sleeping Amy.

"Why do you care?"

"You know what, I really don't know." She stopped and thought about this for a while.

"What do I have first?" Amy said to her pillow.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, you're gonna be late!" Lily looked at her watch. "And so am I!" She screamed.

"I'll just go to your classes then." Amy said as she rolled out of bed, trailing her doona with her. _Ow._

"Then get a move on! Here are your clothes." Lily chucked a bundle of clothes at Amy.

"Um." Amy held up the shirt. "They might be a bit small."

"Gimme those." Lily snatched her clothes back, and threw her a slightly more colourful bundle of material.

"Thankyou." Amy said, jollily.

"Aagh!" Lily yelled, frustrated, as she ran around organising things that didn't need to be organised.

"Just go without me."

"Now there's an idea, but I can't come in alone, I'll look like a, well, a loner. But if I wait then-"

"I'm ready." Amy stood up straight.

Lily stopped, confused. "How'd you manage that?"

"Magic." Amy said with an evil glint in her eye.

"Come on." Lily dragged her out the door of the girls' dorm.

_I'm being involved in a lot of dragging lately. _Amy thought.

Amy and Lily ran down the many corridors to their first class for the day, transfiguration. They ran up to the classroom and burst through the doors, startling everyone in the process.

"Yes. We have transfiguration with Ravenclaw! W00t!" Amy yelled as she ran into class with her arms over her head, spinning.

"Miss Rose, please take your seat." A younger looking Professor McGonagall said angrily.

"But, I was ju-" Amy started, defensively.

"Now." Professor McGonagall said forcefully.

Amy slowly wandered over to where Jess was sitting and slunked down into her seat.

"And Lily, why, you've never been late to a class before. What kept you?" Professor McGonagall said in a tone that meant that she wasn't too happy with her.

"I was, sleepy." Lily said.

"You too, Amy, this is not a good start to your first year." Professor McGonagall turned around to continue writing on the board. "But I'm willing to overlook it because it's the first day back."

Amy sighed and so did Jess. Amy, Lily and Jess squeezed onto a table up the front of the class, just in front of James, Sirius and Lupin. Peter was mysteriously absent from class that day. To Jess's surprise, none of the teachers seemed to care about the way Amy had made their robes look, or it could've been that they didn't notice, which was exactly what Jess wanted. The less attention, the better for her and her studies. Amy had a different idea in mind, the more attention she got, the better her evil plan would work for her. Jess wasn't as uptight, now that she knew her friend had someone else to freak out, until **she** was out of **her** mind with her nagging. _**Lily doesn't have any idea of what Amy is capable of**_, Jess thought, _**I should probably warn her. But then again, it might be fun to watch.**_

Jess received a sharp jolt in the ribs from Lily and Amy's elbows.

"Jessica Rogers, am I to believe that you were dozing off in my class?" Professor McGonagall said sternly, hands on hips.

"Uh, no, professor. I was just taking in all of your teaching to the full extent of my ability, trying to block out any distractions." Jess was a bad liar, Lily thought, even she was better than that.

"Well then, if that's so, then why don't you tell the class what the incantation is for transforming a cat into a matchbox?" She said calmly.

"Well, uh, it's…" Jess glanced around the room for inspiration. "Windowsum meeklanky inkide komp flowery."

"Not exactly. You've just told me how to make the window melt into a puddle of ink and grow the most splendid roses." She paused and changed her tone from calm to accusatory. "Jessica, here at Hogwarts, we have standards. Like being able to read is one of them, as it was written on the board." She slammed her wand onto the board so hard, it was a wonder it didn't break.

During that entire class, McGonagall kept giving the girls' table sharp looks; as though she knew they would burst out singing or chucking their things everywhere. They would've liked to, but they didn't because their teacher really scared them. They were so relieved when the double period was over. Lily had potions next, with Slytherin. Amy didn't feel like concocting at this point in time so she stuck with the marauders that period, and lucky for her she did, because Lily sat next to Severus the entire time, and became dead bored of his boasting, within the first ten minutes. Jess decided to hang with Amy and the marauders too; history of magic was not her thing, even if the history of everything else was her best subject. They followed the marauders out onto the school grounds, threw their bags down and shlumped onto the grass.

"So, why are you two hanging around us?" Lupin asked inquisitively. It hadn't occurred to the girls that the marauders didn't have any idea who they were, how they knew all about them or why they had started to pay attention to them and follow them around when they had only spent about one hour together at dinner.

"Oh, right. You guys are just so awesome that we didn't feel like hanging around anybody else." Amy improvised.

"Well, it's a start." Sirius said as he sat down beside James on the grass.

"To what? We don't know them." James said impatiently.

"So what if we don't know them, they know us. They seem to like us too, and they aren't horrible little girly girls like the rest of them."

"We are still here, you know." Jess said.

"And _they_ can hear you." Amy added.

"Sorry, it's just weird, that's all." James said.

"Well get used to weird, because that's all she is." Jess said, jerking her head towards Amy.

"Weird's cool with me. As long as it's not a guy who's queer." Sirius said.

"Now that was odd." Lupin said, looking up from the book he just got out of his rucksack (that he carried everywhere).

"Hey Sirius." Amy said.

"Yes."

"I feel like calling you something other than Sirius, ok?"

"Ok? Like what?"

"Not like padfoot, like, um…"

"How did you know that too?"

"I have my sources, and so does Jess. But they are sources that we cannot divulge the identity of."

"Fair enough, what did you wanna call padfoot?" James said.

"I was thinking something along the lines of monkey man."

James and Lupin snickered.

"And you guys will have nicknames too, once I think of them." Amy finished and pointed evilly.

They stopped smiling.

"That might be a while though. Thinking is not her strong point." Jess said.

"You can't stop me, so don't even try." Amy said, just as they opened their mouths to protest.

"You'll let flies in, and they'll die needlessly in your spit." They shut their mouths again.

"So, why'd you guys decide to come to Hogwarts?" Sirius asked.

"Uh, well it wasn't really a conscious decision." Jess said.

"It was more of an unconscious decision." Amy said, she obviously thought it was funny.

The marauders looked at them in anticipation, then the girls looked at each other.

"Well, we got in a bit of a train mishap." Amy said.

"Caused by you." Jess pointed out.

"Anyway, when we were on the train, it stopped and when I went with Jess to see the driver, there was no one there. I started looking around and -"

"Fiddling with every little gizmo you could find."

"_Anyway_, Iaccidentally hit a switch that made a big crashing sound and made the carriage we were in detached itself from the rest of the train." Amy went on for a while, Jess continuously interrupting her, until she finished her story. She left out the part that they weren't witches. Amy didn't think they would trust her as much if they knew Amy and Jess were muggles.

"Quite an adventure you've had then." James said after they'd finished, he was fiddling with a piece of grass he'd picked and was now trying to make it change colour.

"Mmm." Lupin said.

"Hey James, did you have any luck with Lily?" Sirius asked. "He asked her out again on the train yesterday and she said she'd think about it." He explained.

"Uh, well, she hasn't really, she kinda… Well, no." James admitted.

"Thought so." Sirius said.

"I don't know if she ever will say yes." Lupin sighed.

"Dude, she gave you the red card." Sirius said, patting him on the back. "Actually, that's not true. You have to be in the game to get carded." He added thoughfully.

"I guess I should just quit." James sighed.

"No way." Jess said.

"I'm sure you guys will have a future together. It just hasn't happened yet." Amy said, reassuringly.

"You think?" He perked up.

"Only if you stop being a jerk and start being nice to not just to her." Jess said.

"That doesn't make any sense, I only want to go out with Lily. Not her friends, so why should I be nice to them?" James didn't get it.

"Becuase, the reason she doesn't like you is that you're arrogant. If you're nice to her friends, then she will think you're a nice person and not just sucking up to her because you fancy her." Amy explained, in her eyes she was the queen of advice.

"You think it'll work?" James asked.

"It should. Just stick with us and you'll be fine." Amy said.

"But you're sticking with Lily." Sirius pointed out.

"Yeah, you're right." James said, it only just dawning on him.

"Well then, we'll just have to keep our friends separate." Jess said to Amy in a whisper.

"It's going to be hard to make you sensitive." Lupin said, shutting his book.

"Peter's still missing. He didn't come back on the train." James said, unconcerned.

Jess looked at her watch. "It's five minutes until lunch." She flopped down onto the grass and yawned. Amy flopped down on top of her.

"Umph. Your head is heavy." Jess wheezed.

"Deal with it."

"No."

"Deal with it."

"Get off me."

"Make me."

"Fine." Jess said. Jess jumped up, flinging Amy's head to the ground in the process.

"Oi." Amy got up and started wrestling Jess to the ground, she won.

"Pinned ya." Amy said triumphantly and lay back down again.

"Na." Jess said.

"Yer."

"Na."

"Yahu."

"Na."

"Yeah."

"Nup."

"I did."

"No way."

"Did so."

"You cheated."

"Nah."

"Yah."

"I won."

"No."

"Fair and square."

"Cheater."

"I can't cheat at that."

"Can so."

"STOP IT!" Lupin yelled. Everyone was shocked at Lupin's sudden annoyance at Amy and Jess's bickering. The girls shut up after that.

"You guys fight a lot for best friends." Sirius said.

"Yeah we do." Jess said.

"They fight like a married couple." Said James.

"Why do people say that? I mean if you were married, you wouldn't fight." Amy said.

"Yeah. Maybe it's a married couple, about to be divorced." Sirius said.

**Brrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg.**

"I'm gonna go find Lily." James said, getting up and walking towards the doors of the castle.

"Good luck." Sirius said sarcastically, saluting him.

James got to the door, turned around and saluted. Amy, Jess and Lupin saluted him in a commando-type fashion. He marched of between the doors.

"He's doomed." Sirius said, getting up and then helping Amy up.

"Ya think." Amy said, stretching.

"He might do ok…" Jess trailed off.

"Maybe." Lupin said.

The four walked up to the great hall for lunch, talking all the while about completely non-relevant things.

"So if a chicken and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs do 8 chickens lay in 12 days?" Amy said.

They were stumped, it didn't make much sense to them, Amy could see.

"How can there be a chicken and a half? Unless it's dead?" Sirius asked.

"Just answer the goddamn question." Amy said.

"144?" Jess said.

"96?" Lupin asked.

"There's half a chicken left over." Sirius said, baffled by the strangeness of the question.

"No the there isn't." Lupin said. Amy started laughing.

"I laugh at you in shame." She said.

"I got it!" Sirius said triumphantly.

"Yes." Amy said._Sirius of all people couldn't have gotten it right. Could he?_

"40.5." He said._Obviously not._

"Uh. I. Don't think. So." Jess said between giggles.

"You guys are so dumb." Amy sighed.

"Well did you get it?" Lupin said defiantly.

"Uh. Well, no." Amy said. _Oh the shame._

He raised his eyebrows in a 'well then, that settles it' kind of way.

"But I got closer than 40.5." She scoffed.

"What did you get?" Sirius asked. _Just to prove that he isn't dumb, but I know he isn't._

"I got 74.5. Thankyou very much." Amy said. Daring anyone to question her 'superior knowledge'.

"What's the answer?" Jess said. _She's actually interested in this isn't she?_

"84." Amy said and nodded.

"How?" Lupin said, even he was gobsmacked.

"I don't remember." Amy said.

"Hey, what about this one?" Jess said. Everyones attention was on her now.

"One man come up to this farmer and says, 'I want half your stock and half an egg more.'. The farmer gives him his eggs and he leaves. A second man says 'I want half your stock and half an egg more.' the farmer gives him his eggs. A third man walks up and says, ' I want half your stock and half an egg more.' The farmer has now run out of eggs and didn't break any. How many eggs did he have to begin with?"

"You didn't tell us." Amy said.

"That's the whole point."

"What is with you guys fascination with chickens, eggs and confusing questions?" Lupin said.

"Oh, what about 25?" Amy said, brushing away his question.

"Lower."

"Twenty?"

"Lower."

"15?"

"Lower."

"5?"

"Higher."

"8."

"Lower."

"6."

"Higher."

"10?"

"It's lower than 8."

"Ok. Uh, 5?"

"Higher than 5."

"6."

"Getting closer."

"8?"

"No."

"9?"

"No."

"5?"

"No."

"4."

"Higher."

"8?"

"You've said that three times."

"Oh, I know now."

"Oh good."

"It's seven."

"Yay."

"Why is it seven?"

"Because if the first man wants half of seven, that's 3 and a half, plus half an egg more is three eggs left over. The next guy wants half of three, which is one and a half plus half an egg more means there's one egg left. The third man wants half of the one left over and half an egg more that means there's none left over. Get it?"

"Not really." Amy said.

"No, I get it." Lupin said.

"That's because you understand everything." Sirius said.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."

"It is."

"Can we not fight?" Jess intervened.

"Fine."

By the time all this was said, the four of them were sitting at their house tables. Jess was sitting at Griffindor because she still didn't know anyone from Ravenclaw too well yet. They all started eating.

"Why are you always eating?" Jess asked Amy.

"I get hungry." Amy said, looking up from a bread roll she was munching into.

"How do you think Jamesy-boy went with Lily." Jess asked no one in particular.

"I don't think he's found her. Or we would have heard about it. One way or another." Sirius said.

The group nodded and 'mm'ed their aggreement and went on eating. Then Amy thought to herself. _We fat in quite quickly. I wonder why? Must be because we're just so nice to be around. Wait, is 'fat in' the way you say it? Or is it 'fitted in'? Still doesn't sound right though. At least it doesn't sound like a butter container._

The doors to the great hall flew open as wide as they could go before hitting the walls on either side. A very angry-looking Griffindor girl stomped up beside Amy and Jess and plonked herself down on the seat, violently tearing into some poor chicken wing. She was obviously pissed off.

"You ok?" Jess said, hazardously.

"Actually, no." Lily said testily, throwing down her chicken.

"What happened?" Amy said.

"Well, your friend." She pointed at the four who were previously talking about her.

"Here it comes." Sirius said quietly.

"He decided that he'd come over and ask me out to a Hogsmeade weekend. But first he thought that he'd make sarcastic comments about all my friends." She said angrily.

"But he didn't say anything mean to me." Amy said.

"Not you." She snapped.

"Oh."

Just as Lily was starting to calm down with the help of the sensitive Jess, James walked through the door. He walked in in a completely different fashoin to Lily, he walked in slowly, looking at his toes with his head bent over. He looked guilty, and disappointed. He walked over to the place where his new four best mates were sitting, he was too busy inspecting his shoes than looking where he was going which meant that he ran into Lily, just as she was getting up to leave.

"What do you want now?" Lily asked and stormed off.

"What did you do this time?" Lupin asked.

"I, well, I went over to Lily and her friends and I wanted to ask her out to Hogsmeade so I thought I'd try being nice to her friends too."

"Yes."

"Well, I said to one of them 'I like your shoes.' And then she looked confused so I said to another one and said 'What did you do to your hair, it looks different.'And she looked very unimpressed so I said to Lily, 'Your looking very, uh, tall today.' And she glared at me. I guess I was trying so hard to sound genuine that I sounded sarcastic."

"Poor Jamesy." Sirius said, patting him on the back.

"And then I asked her if she wanted to go to the next Hogsmeade trip with me and she went phsycho. She screamed at me for ages and then, finally, one of her friends calmed her down while the other told me that, just because my head would cover the grounds, it doesn't mean that I had to squish everyone elses egos until they were the size of an ant." James said and put his head in his hands.

"Well, we'll work on the whole sensitive thing." Amy said.

"I'll never convince Lily to even look at me without being disgusted, let alone go out with me. Never." James said in to his hands.

"Never say never." Jess said. "I have learnt from being around Amy that no matter how impossible something seems, it actually is possible. One way or another."

"Just forget about her, she'll cry, talk about her feelings, bitch about you and then get over it. Its what girls do." Sirius said.

"Oi. **We're** girls." Jess said.

"Well, we don't know if you do stuff like that yet, we don't know you well enough." Lupin covered up.

"K."

That night, (after pudding strangely enough) the girls went to the dorm, watched movies and ate lots of junk food. Amy could pack a lot into that tiny little school bag, including her iPod, portable DVD player, DVD's, CD's and all sorts of other knick knack-type things to help her survive a school day.

"Hey Lily." Jess said.

"Yer." She said, grabbing another jelly snake.

"What would you say if James asked you out?"

"You're kidding, right?" She said sarcastically. "How many times has he asked me out already?" She asked herself, pretending to count on her fingers. "Oh yeah, too many." She scowled at Jess whilst chewing upon her lolly.

"Just asking." Jess said defensively.

"Guys." Amy said.

"Yeah." They both said.

"Shut up."

They counted to three and started bashing up Amy with pillows until she was on the ground in tears, laughing.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it." She cried.

"Ok. Fine. We'll back off."

"Hey Lily, you know what we have first tomorrow?" Amy said.

"Uh, no." Lily said.

"Well, whatever it is, we won't be going." Amy said.

"And why not?" Jess asked, looking slightly shocked.

"Because," Amy said "I have set a charm on all the classroom doors so that when the teachers try to get in, it will rain. Inside."

"Cool." Jess said, slightly relieved.

"See, I do pay attention, sometimes."

Then the girls went to bed and slept. Jess couldn't be bothered to walk all the way back to Ravenclaw dorm so she slept there. Surprisingly, they didn't wake up anyone else when they were talking. So everyone was happy.

_The next morning._

"Amy, Amy. Get up, you lazy arse. Look outside." Jess shook her awake. Amy got up, with the entire contents of her bed covering her and she was still half asleep, but still was up. She looked out the window.

"Dammit." There was a massive storm outside. Tornados, lightning, rain, the black lake had been washed all over the grounds because of the massive waves. Then a huge clap of thunder broke the silence, if you could call a storm silence. Well it broke the tension and everyone who was still asleep's dreams. Everyone started talking and whispering and then as more lightning came, some people screamed, loudest of all was Amy. Then Jess punched her.

"Weren't all your books still out on the grass from yesterday?" Jess said.

"Yer."

"Dammit."

"Uhu."

"Let's go down to breakfast." Jess said.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes."

"But it's still dark." She moaned.

"That's because of the storm."

"It's too early to eat."

"No it's not, come on." Jess dragged her out the door, still in her pyjamas.

"I have to get dressed." Amy struggled.

"No you don't."

"But everyone will see me and think I'm nuts." She said, still struggling.

"You are nuts." Jess said.

"T rue." She said and stopped struggling.

When they got down to breakfast professor Dumbledore said into his magical mike (microphone) and said. "Students, if Miss Rose is here from Griffindor, could she please come up the front." Jess looked at Amy very sternly. Amy looked at Jess very apologetically. Amy walked up the front in her pyjamas.

Professor Dumbledore turned the microphone around and said to Amy, "Amy, there have been some issues that ha-"

Amy cut him off. "I didn't do it!" She yelled out of nervousness.

Everyone started giggling, including the marauders who had just walked in. But Jess just looked ashamed.

"How did you know what I was going to say? It's the storm outside, anyway -"

"Well, I didn't do that either."

"Ok. Well most of the staff are convinced that you did. We will have to confiscate your wand and give you as many detentions as we can allow and you shall also be stripped of all privileges. Because we can't have anything like this happening again, can we?"

"Innocent until proven guilty." She blurted out.

"Come again?"

"Innocent until proven guilty." She said a little slower. "Do you have any proof? Witnesses? I thought not. I do have witnesses and a very convincing story, seeing as you don't have these I think I'd be wasting your time. Now if you excuse me I'm hungry." Amy said too fast for him to answer and marched down to her seat and started eating again.

"What was that all about?" Jess asked.

"Storm."

"Did you do it?" James asked.

"Nup."

"Don't lie." Sirius said.

"Aint."

"Damn." Sirius said.

"You."

"Hey."

"What?"

"What's what now?"

"Damn!"

"You didn't make the storm."

"Damn?"

"Uh, yeah, that's, uh, you, um, storm, damn. What's with the one word sentences?"

"Hungry."

"So you're not gonna tell us why you turned the school into a swamp, a very loud, wet, damp, swamp?" Sirius said. Jess just rolled her eyes.

"Didn't."

"Ok, I guess the classes on the ground floor aren't on."

"Why?"

"It's flooded. And the doors are all locked."

"Oh."

"So you guys all wanna come see us play?"

"What?"

"Uh, well, we kinda have a band type thing. You wanna come watch?"

"Sure."

"Awesome," Sirius looked very happy. "Will Lily come watch?" He asked for his friend.

"Can't. Got homework." Lily said as she looked up from her book and put it away.

"Homework for what?" James who had been previously looking around on the floor for his shoe, asked.

"**I** have classes and grades to keep up, unlike you guys who have grades to keep down, which you don't have to do homework for. You just sit there and make up excuses. Oh, I lost my quill, Sirius ate it, I didn't have time to do it because I was chased by a group of muggles who wanted my secret for the perfect hair. You're pathetic." She said and stormed off.

"She doesn't like you mate." Sirius said.

"Duh." Amy said.

"Don't say that. They could easily get together, if Lily just got over herself."

"Yeah." Amy agreed.

"You gonna get dressed?" Lupin said loudly, sitting down in between Amy and Jess. Jess knew he was there but as for Amy. She wasn't that observant.

"EEEAAAAGH!" Amy screamed and jumped up, dropping her food onto Jess's lap in the process.

"It speaks." Sirius said.

"Don't do that ever again." Amy said, hyperventilating.

"Please." Jess said, standing up and trying to get the bacon and eggs off of her stripey green pyjamas.

"Sorry. I didn't know she'd SCREAM." Lupin said/screamed.

"Neither did I."

"Hey Amy." Sirius said.

"Uhu."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Can it wait?"

"Oh, ok."

"Amy, Come over here for a sec." Jess said and pulled her away from the three boys.

"What is it?"

"I think we have a problem."

* * *

It's a bit longer than the others but I hope that's ok. Either you're with me or you're a flamer. All flamers must burn by flamethrowers. Nah jj. Soz about any grammatical errors, my shift key is busted. Let's just say my computer got a bit annoying and I didn't like it. And can I say that Blu-tac does not make a great shift key. Because it don't work.

oh and **R&R!**


	5. New People Get Scared

Ok, I hate thoughts. Officially. And I hate teachers and I hate phones. Grr. Our school food also sucks. Have you ever tried to match up all of your classmates personalities with the HP peoples? We did, during a volleyball carnival and found out that I would be Ron, Weasley that is. How weird is that? But I don't have red hair

* * *

"What exactly is our problem?"

"Well I think that you should just lay low for a while."

"How is that a problem?"

"It's not."

"Then what is?"

"You're acting like an idiot."

"How is that the probem?"

"Because you wouldn't have known unless I told you."

"And why exactly do I need to know this?"

"Something bad's gonna happen."

"How do you know this?"

"I don't."

"Then why did you s-"

"Nevermind."

"What were we talking about?"

"Listen, bad things happen at places like here. It's just the way the story was set out. Not many people could write a story without bad things happenning."

"What about fairy tales? Nothing bad happened in Hansel and Gretel. "

"Yahu. In the Grimm brothers stories they died."

"What about the version that everybody reads?"

"Their step mum was gonna kick them out. And their mum died."

"Well, uh, mmm."

"My point is you've caused enough trouble as it is."

"Like what/"

"That storm, three people died." [yes they did, extremeness of the storm

"I did not do that."

"Sure you didn't. I must have been imagining things when I saw you get up and leave last night."

"Whatever." Amy didn't really care and she didn't really have a reason to. Yet. They walked outside with the boys into the sunshine.

"It's lunch, right?" Sirius said.

"No shit, Sherlock." James said.

"Nah, it's maths." Amy said.

"Maths? Whazzat."

"Don't worry."

"Where will we go?" Jess said.

"Um, let's go inside." James said.

"Why?" Amy said.

"Because it looks like rain." He said, looking up.

"But it was sunny a minute ago." Amy protested. She didn't like being inside.

"Well it's not anymore." James said, looking up again.

"Yeah, Am, let's go inside. You wouldn't wanna get the rest of your stuff wet, would you?" Jess said, looking up too.

"Fine, just go and ruin my day." She said and stomped off, then she turned around and shouted at the sky. "Die rain!" She scuttled inside.

"Now what?" Sirius said.

"We could go to the library." Lupin suggested.

"That's a great idea. Let's do that." Jess said.

"Uh, how about, no." James said.

"Well I'm going." Lupin said.

"And I'm going with him." Amy said and they both walked off.

"Ok, well that's them gone." Sirius said.

"I'm gonna go up to Griffindor tower. And do my homework, maybe then I won't be quite so up myself in Lily's eyes." James said and walked off.

"Well that's him gone too." Sirius said.

"Great, now who am I supposed to annoy?"

"You could annoy me." Sirius said but then regretted it.

Amy started poking him and didn't stop when he started walking down the corridor. She followed him down and up many sets of stairs and corridors and up to one tower and then the next, still poking him, then she stopped when Sirius started pacing. She sat down on a railing and just watched him pace around the floor, he didn't stop for a really long time. She started yawning and getting bored and then started talking to herself because it was becoming apparent that Sirius wasn't going to listen. After a while she got up, walked over to him and shouted in his face. He was now listening.

"AAAAaaaaagh! What is it?"

"You don't know how annoying that was."

"Ok. What do you propose I do then?"

"Well, you could start by telling me why the heck you were walking around like a zombie."

"Um, I just need to think about some stuff." He sat down where Amy was recently sitting.

"Like what?" Amy sat down next to him.

"Uh, I dunno." He sighed and put his head in his hands.

"I think you have men's troubles." Amy said thoughtfully.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He looked very taken aback.

"I dunno, I spose it means that you have troubles that don't concern us women or chicks."

"Us?"

"You know, me, Jess, Lily some other peeps."

"Oh, ok. I thought you meant like...don't worry."

"I won't then."

"Good."

Then there was a bit of an awkward silence or a tired silence or some other strange sort of silence. Then Amy said a weird thing, well, mumbled.

"A gay baby's just been born."

"Ok? And how do you know this?" He looked very confused, bewildered, surprised.

"No, well, ugh. One day our maths teacher decided he'd tell us that every time there was an awkward silence in the world, a gay baby is born. You see?"

"Well that wasn't really an awkward silence, it was more of a tired silence, or a silence when you can't think of anything else to say."

"Ok then, be like that."

"Ok."

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"There must be a lot of gay babies in the world."

"True."

They sat there for a while, not really saying much, too lost in their own thoughts. Amy didn't have anything in her head to say but Sirius did, and he couldn't figure out what it was, if you know what I mean.

"You know, we've been sitting here for a very long time and I'm kinda tired because it's like 7:30."

"Probably."

"I wanna go to bed, you tired or hungry?"

"Probably."

"You coming?" She said, standing up.

"Probably."

"Get up." she said, grabbing his wrist and yanking him up. He started slowly ambling along behind her so she stopped, stepped behind him and poked her finger into his back so he started moving faster. Amy was pleased. They walked and poked all the way downstairs to the great hall and stopped.

"So, I was really dumb and walked all the way down here when I actually wanted to go to bed. But since I'm already down here, I'll eat. But I'm not really that hungry, so I'll eat if you eat. You hungry?"

"Uh, what was the question?"

"Do you want to eat, or not?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Ok then, let's eat." She said and yanked him forward by his wrist. She walked into the end of dinner, dragging Sirius behind her.

"Where is everyone?"

"Dead." Amy replied bluntly.

"What!" He yelled.

"Kidding." Then she looked around the room and noticed that there were about five people at each table.

"Hey where is everyone?"

"I haven't known you for all that long but I think it's safe to say that, 'you ain't that smart are you, girl'?"

"It would never have been safe to say _that_."

"Whatever."

A very confused looking girl walked into the hall and stopped and she looked around, looking more confused than before. If possible.

"Uh, you right there?" Amy asked the confused looking girl.

"Do you know where the headmaster is?" she said shyly.

"Well he's not in here, I can tell you that."

"OH, well I need to see him, do you know where he is?"

"Well, mumnhin minjim mopkilfool." Sirius had put his hand over Amy's mouth and smoothed down his hair.

"Well, actually, I do know where he is but why do you want to know?" He said, attempting to be smooth. Amy rolled her eyes.

"I'm new and I don't know where to go. I moved here from America and my names Jade." She shook Sirius's free hand.

"Well Jade, welcome to Hogwarts, my name is Siri- AAAAAAAAghs! What the hell did you do that for?"

"You were pissing me and probably this nice young girl off. So, I bit you."

"Well you can't do that I was goi- ooooooooowwww! Oh the pain, oww! It hurts." Amy had kicked him in the shins and he was now rolling around on the floor in pain.

"My name is Amy" She redirected herself to speak to Jade, ignoring her writhing friend. "I'm an exchange from Australia. I'm new too. I don't know much about this place either so we can stick together." Sirius was starting to get up so she kicked him again and continued in welcoming this confused American. Sirius finally got up and sat down. He put a platter in between them and continued looking on.

"So, uh, is he your boyfriend?" Jade asked, attempting conversation.

"Uh, well actually, I was going to ask -" Sirius started.

"God no! You can have him. He's just my idiot." She said patting the slightly dumbfounded looking Sirius on the head and didn't cease doing so.

"Would you like me to show you where Dumbledore's office is? It's amazing, really big and everything. He's got these stairs where they spin around and go right up. But you need a password to get in but he's always really obvious with his." Sirius was starting to look annoyed.

"I don't know why he doesn't make it something hard. It's always a candy or chocolate or sugary type treat." Now he's looking frustrated.

"Apparantly sugar can make you go hyper but I haven't noticed, I've got this friend who never eats chocolate or anything and is so boring, I wonder where she is, she's in Ravenclaw. I'm in Griffindor and so's Sirius here." Now angry.

"You can meet her later if you want to. You know you have to be sorted into a house too, I hope it's Griffindor. What was your school in america called? Was it a witchcraft girls only school or was it a boys only school? Wait you're a girl so you can't go to a boys only school. It'd have to be co- ed then so-" Sirius suddenly screamed, jumped up and started patting Amy on the head, rather violently I might add. Then Amy bit him. Then they got into this crazed slapping, biting, hitting, kicking fight.

"Uh, I'm gonna go and see if someone else can help me. He." she backed away slowly.

Sirius was hitting Amy over the head with his shoe when Amy looked up from biting his ear and said "No wait, don't go! Come back. Please. I'm normal, totally normal, see?"

Sirius was still hitting her with his shoe. Amy turned around and whacked him so he whimpered like a puppy that'd just been hit. Then she dragged him off to Griffindor tower, dropped him in the common room and went to bed.

"Well, that was violent." Sirius said.

A long silence.

"Ow." he said, rubbing his head.

Another long silence.

"I'm going to bed." And so he did.

* * *

Well that's another chapter finished in the life of Amy and Jess. This one was mostly about Amy though. Jade will come up again. And from now on I will not write about school classes, too boring. Be happy with what you get. (again, sorry for grammar and storyline technical wrongities or 'mistakes' as grammar fanatics call them0)

i say, i would be deviiiiiine if you could just puuut a tteeeeny tiny review on there to make me feel soooooo much betta... HAHAHAHA no seriously


	6. A Morning Of Mayhem

And so begins chapter 6. Have fun my little reading minions.

* * *

"Get up." Amy shouted in the boys' dorm as she honked a horn-type thing she found in her bag.

"GET UP!" She then proceeded to jump on top of all the boys beds until they woke up, a lot of groaning could be heard that morning. She then stopped beside Sirius's bed, went reeeeelly quiet and then honked the horn in his ear.

A boy yelled out. "Sirius, your friend here is giving us all migraines. Make her stop."

"Fine." he moaned. He then got up slowly and threw things at her, which did not work too well because he was half-asleep.

"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me." Amy said, jumping around. "Figure of speech, by the way. I would really like it if you didn't kiss me."

"Whatever." he flopped back onto bed and then another kid got out of bed, went over to every other person, and whispered something in his ear, they all smiled and nodded when he heard it. All the boys got up and slowly started walking over to her, with evil glints in their eyes.

"Whoa now. Don't do anything you'll regret. Or I'll regret." Amy said backing up.

"Well, we're tired, tennage guys who have serious mood issues so we are now angry and we would appreciate it if you just stood there while we killed you." Leader man said.

"Ok, then. I just gotta go and do some stuff over here…" Amy said slowly and then ran out the door. They all followed. Amy ran for her life, or dignity, she ran downstairs to the common room and ran around in circles, jumping over furniture and climbing up curtains, throwing couches at them, to put it plainly, she attacked and ran with everything she had in and around her. Then she stopped for a second, thought about it, and ran upstairs to the girls' dorm and slammed the door shut. She then ran over to Lily and Jess, (who was in a sleeping bag) and shook them awake. Lily just kicked her away so she went to be lectured and then helped by Jess.

"Jess, Jess, Jess!"

"Yes Amy. What's wrong? You look scared. Wait a minute, I know that look. You went and woke up some very moody guys who are now moodier because you woke them up and then they chased you around until you decided that I could help. Hmm?"

"Yes."

"Well, you remember what happened last time, don't you? You ended up having to climb out the fire escape. What are you going to do this time?" Jess sounded like a very disappointed mother.

"I… Don't… know….!" she cried.

"Me neither."

"You have to help me. Or else." Amy now sounded like the stubborn child.

"Or else what?"

"I won't be your friend anymore."

"Fine then, don't be my friend."

"Fine."

"I hope you can handle the league of extraordinary gentlemen on your own then."

"HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Amy was almost in tears.

"Fine! I'll go talk to them."

"Uhh, I come in peace. My name is Jess, I am not Amy." Jess said as she slowly walked out the door, armed with a pillow.

"Where is she, she can't stay in there forever." One guy said.

"She could have climbed out the window." another one said.

"Ok. Ok." Jess said trying to calm them down a little.

"Well, has she?"

"Where is she?"

"I'm tired."

"Everybody, shut up."

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

Amy listened to all this as she rocked on the floor like a mental patient.

A muffled "No! that is not going to happen." could be heard through the door as Amy slunked over to her bed. Nearly half the girls had now gotten out of bed to listen up against the door to what they were saying. Amy sat down on her bed, wrapped herself in a doona, grabbed her teddy bear and started to suck her thumb. She watched the girls sit against the door, listening to what her good friend was saying to those losers. Whispering to each other, gossipping about Amy and her dilemma. Lily slid onto her bed and patted her on the shoulder.

"You know, I've never been chased by a mob of boys who wanted to attack me before, but I've been told it's scary. I've only ever been chased by one and that wasn't so great." Lily said.

Amy laughed. "Well, to some it would be a dream, but for me… not so much."

"You're probably going to have to face them sometime."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't really want that time to be today."

"Fair enough. But how on earth did you get them so mad?"

"Well, I woke them all up on a Saturday and the laws of all the kids came into order and they brought me down with their legal mumbo jumbo." She sighed. "But I never have been one for the law." She said sinisterly.

"We might have to have a court meeting."

"Maybe Lily. Maybe."

Jess burst through the door, knocking several girls over in the process. Amy ran over.

"Well?"

"They said we'll compromise."

"That's not sounding good. What kind of compromise?"

"Like the kind where you have to play spin the bottle, with their rules." Jess flinched.

"HOW. Could. YOU. DO. That!" Amy screamed.

"You only have to spin it 4 times though."

"Only four times. Well I guess that's ok then." Amy said sarcastically. "FOUR TIMES! What were you thinking?"

"I dunno. They said if it wasn't four times then it'd be every girl in this room. And I thought that you could take one for the girls." Jess patted her on the shoulder. Amy was furious, she chased her friend around and around and out the door. Then froze when she remembered why she had been hiding in there in the first place.

Amy smiled. "Err. Well. Um." A silence occurred. "Hi."

Amy was sitting in a circle. On the outside, with Lily and Jess sitting behind her. She was still in her pyjamas with her doona around her, armed with a teddy bear.

"Ok, well, we have agreed to settle this thing with Amy playing spin the bottle four times with all of us." The self-appointed spokesperson for the guys said. "And by our rules. Our rules are, we have decided, that when you spin this bottle." He produced an old butterbeer bottle with a flourish. "Whomever it points to, gets to push you into that cupboard and beat you up." Amy yelped and turned around trying to escape but Jess pushed her back down. Amy was pleading with her but she sat her down and held her there.

"So now Amy, spin it." He handed her the bottle.

Amy looked up at Jess with a look that said 'please, don't do this to me. I'll be your best friend forever, please no.' and Jess just looked back with a look that said 'eat your vegetables'. [I'm not sure if that made any sense Amy spun the bottle and closed her eyes. She could hear it clunking around on the concrete tiles and just wished she wasn't there. She waited and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And then she got fed up with waiting and opened her eyes. It didn't look like it was going to stop. Amy had an idea; she slowly slid her hand back and nudged Jess. She nudged her again and then did some one handed sign language and then Jess slowly slid Amy her wand. Amy tried to find out if she could work a wand so she pointed it at the bottle and it flew up into the air and crashed back down but didn't stop spinning. She tried again. The bottle went faster. One more time. She got control of the bottle and decided that she'd keep it spinning but subtly get it to land on someone nice.

Amy thought to her self. _ok, ok. Ugly. Acne infested. Nice-looking. Maybe. No way. Aegh. I suppose, ok. Sirius. Wait maybe Sirius could help me divulge a plan to get out of this alive. Nah. _as she thought about whom she wouldn't like to be attacked by and skipped them. _ok. No way. Maybe. Aww. Sweet. Ding ding ding! Ok now stop spinning bottle. I said stop! No no no! he looks strong. Please no. oh good it didn't stop. It's slowing down. I wonder if I can make it go the other way without arousing suspicion. I'll try it. Oh good. And now bottle I command you to stop on the adorably hot guy. I said stop. Stop! No not him again. Go back again. I said back. No no no! it stopped on an evil-looking pimpley guy. Aagh. My life in this world is over. Help me lord. What did I ever do to you? I hate you all. Damn you all to hell. What do the teenage gods have against me today. Why? Why? Please let someone help me. A miracle has to happen to a gawjus gal like me. It has to. I'll be nice to my brother? That little dick of a brother. I'll do what the teacher says. I won't get in trouble as much. I'll be nice to Sirius. Please don't do this to me. NOOOOOOOOOOO!_

But as all this was being said inside her head, all she could manage to get out of her mouth was "Dammit." Amy started to pretend to cry. She sat there with her arms folded.

"Get up Amy." Jess said. Amy didn't budge.

"Get up!"

"No."

"I mean it, Amy get up."

"You get up."

"Fine I will." Jess stood up and picked Amy up by the collar and pushed her towards the spokesperson guy who ushered her towards the cupboard.

"Do it for the girls." Jess said.

"You know I'm starting to think you wanted this to happen all along." Amy whispered loudly back, as the door was shut in her face and she heard the latch click. She was now all alone, in a cupboard with a completely scary guy and her teddy bear. The guy smiled evilly. He had braces. Amy smiled weakly. He threw a punch at her head. Amy shook him off. He did a pose that kinda looked like Thai Chi with his eyes closed, probably harnessing energy or some other crap, Amy thought. Amy was getting desperate. She was getting scared. Closer. Closer. She whacked her teddy bear into his face. He stumbled backwards, hit his head on the wall and fell down. She felt a bit safer now. Until he tried to get back up. She looked up and saw a light bulb hanging there. _so much for dark. _She thought. She looked at the guy, the light bulb and then her teddy bear. She jumped up, whacked her teddy against the light bulb which crashed against the wall and smashed all over the guy. He started to cry and then he tried to yell out so she whacked his head against the wall and he was silent.

Jess stood there, next to Lily in a room full of boys, watching her very angry-looking friend be shut in a closet. She waited a while. And then she heard a muffled 'thump'. Then a smashing sound. Everyone looked over at the closet. The spokesman guy, who had been guarding the closet looked worried. Another few thumps and there was silence. He opened the door to the closet and got whacked in the face by a teddy bear. He stumbled backwards and then fell over. Nearly every boy stood up to see if their friend was ok.

"He's unconscious."

"I know." Amy said.

"How did she do that?"

"No, the question is, what are we going to do about it?." the spokesperson guys stood up and slowly started walking over to her. Amy knew that this was time to run, so she ran out the door and down the corridors and down stairs and into rooms and in secret passageways and out again. Back in the common room Jess and Lily stood there as all of the girls came out of the dorm room and the marauders stood up off the ground. They all stared out the door to see Amy running as fast as ever and yelps and screams could be heard in the distance. They just stood there listening to all this when Sirius finally said.

"I just think it's a lot of fuss over getting woken up about ten minutes early." everyone around him agreed and went down to breakfast.

* * *

I know it was only a morning, but a pretty hectic Saturday morning if you ask me. Magic is scarcely written about in my stories but that's me so. Yeah.

Hope your mornings aren't like this.

Bec.

(Ps, if you didn't like this chappy, blame my brother it was his idea so ta ta. coughblame himcough cough in cough reviewscough)


	7. Now What?

Hey yall! Nah I'm kidding. I'm not American. don't worry. Hey youse out there who have the time enough to read this, but I have the time to write it so...

* * *

Amy fast walked into breakfast and sat behind Jess. She picked up a cup and started skulling it. Precisely 30 seconds later, an army of angry puffed out boys ran through the doors. Screaming.

"What do you think you are doing?" Professor McGonagall screamed. Everyone in the hall looked over and the angry mob of boys stopped running.

"We. Uh. We were just." Spokesperson-guy stuttered.

"DETENTION! For all the boys of Griffindor fifth year. A week. Except for you guys, sitting down." The boys slowly walked over to the long Griffindor table and sat down, glaring at Amy.

"He he he." Amy laughed happily.

"You are one weird chick." James said.

"He."

"Did you mean for this to happen? Like do you plan everything that goes on in your life or do you just do something and wait for something interesting to happen?" Sirius said.

"Pretty much."

"Hey, is your name Amy?" Said a girl's voice behind her.

"It depends who's asking." Amy said and then regretted it when she turned around to see the person who had asked.

"Dolores Umbridge is asking." This girl was seriously tall and tough looking and she looked ticked off. Having a tough looking person be ticked off at you is not good. I don't recommend it.

"Hey, I haven't seen you before." She tried to sound not so scared. "What year you in?"

"Seventh. I heard you beat up my boyfriend."

"Well it was more of a No way! Who said that? I'll beat em."

"He said it." Dolores pulled the braces kid up from behind her.

"Him? Who did you say I beat up?" She whispered to the little guy.

"You beat him." She stood over Amy like a shadow.

"He's _your_ boyfriend! Ooh, that's funny. Because he's like a little mini nerdy brace face and your like massive so you said that to make me all scared and be like 'Aagh don't hurt me. Please. I'll do your homework or something, just don't hurt me.' but you see, my friend here is the brainy one, I'm actually quite dumb. Unless you count being able to climb out windows fast as a subject, then I'm smart as." Amy smiled and sat back down.

A growl echoed around Amy's head.

"Wow, girl, you have real bad breath. I suggest you Go get some mints before you go kissing your 'boyfriend' again. Here, it's on me." Amy slipped a 10 dollar note into her front pocket.

She growled again

"Now, if you gonna act like a dog I just might have to turn you into one." Amy said as she looked for her wand in her pyjamas. "Jess, give me your wand."

"Ok, but if you are going to turn her into a dog, leave me out of it."

Dolores looked stumped for a moment. Then Amy said. "Oh, you got no wand? Hehe hahity hahity ha!" Amy danced around her, singing her little tune and stopped in front of her and poked out her tongue. "Na na na na na!" Amy spun around and snapped her fingers and did a little head bop thing. "MmHm." She sat down and started eating a piece of toast. Dolores went red. With anger, of course. She went to punch her in the head but Sirius got there first, he thwacked Dolores across the head. She got up and went to kick him but Lily stopped her. Amy got up and knocked the girl out with a big metal bowl.

"No one sneaks up on my girls when their backs are turned. And my guy." The marauders, Jess and Lily all cheered. But the big mean girl stood up and went to hit Amy over the head with the same bowl she was whacked with. Amy turned around just in time and grabbed her wrist. "What did I just say?" Amy threw the girl backwards and she tripped over another table. Dolores got up and knocked Sirius, James, Remus, Jess and Lily over in her anger to get to Amy. Amy turned around to see if her friends were ok when Dolores kicked Amy's knees and she toppled over. "This chick is like the bloody terminator." Amy rolled around for a bit on the floor and finally stood up and grabbed her teddy bear (which was sitting on her spot for all that time) and threw it into her face. Dolores threw it back and Amy whipped out Jess's wand and turned her into a dog. The dog growled.

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Professor McGonagall screamed as she walked in and saw five kids on the ground, one girl clad in blue pyjamas rushing to help them up with a wand in her mouth and a dog, growling.

"Well, what it is" Amy started and everyone around her started talking and shouting and I think one started singing.

"Enough! You six, detention. My office, Monday."

"Dammit." Said Amy.

"And why is there a dog in here?"

"Well it's actually Dolores." Jess said.

"Dolores?" The professor was confused.

"Uh, well it's kind of, Dolores Umbridge."

"The student!"

"Yeah."

"Oh, quickly, someone go and bring her to the hospital wing. Uhh you. What's your name?"

"Jade."

"Well get a leash and take her to the hospital wing. GO!"

"I don't know where it is."

"You go with her then." She pointed at Jess.

"Me neither."

"Fine then, you go." She pushed Lily and Jade towards the door. "You five. SIT!" They sat.

"Well, that was an interesting way to start breakfast." Sirius said after she walked away. Jess raised her eyebrows. "It was."

"I don't really think she was that tough. She just looked scary. And smelled scary." Amy said matter -of-factly. Sirius and James laughed.

"It's not funny. Someone could've gotten hurt." Jess said.

"Yeah, as long as it's that twit, I'm ok." Amy said. They laughed again.

"You hit her with a bowl." Remus said.

"I know. She's ok though."

"She's a dog." Remus said.

"I know. She sounded like one, so I thought she may as well look the part." They laughed again.

"Still not funny." Jess said.

"I'm gonna agree with worrywart." Amy said.

"It's not funny, Amy." Remus said sternly.

"Geez, who died and made you grim reaper." More laughter comes from James and Sirius.

"Guys, stop laughing it's not funny." Amy said. They shut up.

Remus glared and Jess looked unimpressed.

"Well, think about it like this. She stopped to defend us guys when she was risking her neck stupidly." Sirius said. Jess nodded. Amy scowled. "I mean how dumb can you get? She was gigantic." Amy glared. "She could have just sat there and watched us get intimidated, but she didn't and now she's got detention." Amy glared harder. "I mean she really put herself out for us." Sirius patted her on the shoulder. Amy glared and then whacked him repeatedly. Jess and Remus looked a bit more convinced though. After a few minutes of silence they got up and turned to leave.

"Hey, where are youse going?"

"Library."

"No you're not, it's a Saturday."

"So?" They said and walked off.

"I hate them sometimes." Amy said. "Now I'm stuck with you guys, again."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Soz."

"Meh."

"So, when do holidays begin?"

"You're not serious?"

"Yer."

"It's not that boring, is it?"

"Well, I can't remember boring days and I only remember 3 days of being here. Plus today."

"That's because you've only been here for 3 days. Plus today."

"Well, that makes sense then."

"Good."

"So when do holidays start?"

"A few weeks." James said.

"Kewl."

"Uhu."

"Is there anywhere you can go swimming in this place?"

"Uh, yeah." Sirius said.

"Where's that then?"

"Well, no one is actually supposed to know about it but us."

"So it's a secret then?"

"That's the general idea."

"Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me."

"Do you not understand the whole 'secret' thing?"

"Uh, yes, no, wait, what?"

"Don't worry."

"So, can we swim now?"

"It has to be later. You know, when it's dark." Said James.

"Why?"

"Secrecy." Said James. Amy raised her eyebrows.

"It's just better at night." Said Sirius.

"So, why are we here again?" Jess said.

"Because we want to tick off the others." Remus said.

"Ok then."

"Why do we want to do that again?" Jess said.

"Eh, well, I dunno, it's fun, I guess."

"Wonder what they're doing?"

"Something stupid."

"Why do you say that?" Remus walked her over to the staircase and pointed at the three jumping up and down, trying to jump from one staircase to the other, while they were moving from floor to floor.

"Oh." They sat down at a desk and took out some books. Jess had no idea how to use a wand so she was reading every single book she could find on the subject and memorising it. Surprisingly, she didn't get bored.

"Do you actually like reading that stuff?"

"Yeah. Why, don't you?"

"No. There's only one spell I can do off the top of my head that makes everything from these books kinda get lodged into my brain."

"Cool. But don't you get into trouble?"

"Nah, the info's already in my head so the anti-cheating charms don't affect it."

"Well, can you teach me?"

"It's complicated."

"Everyone says that, but when you explain it, it's simple." He explained the spell and she did not understand a word.

"Well, can you do it to me?"

"Uh, ok."

"What do you need to know from these books anyway?"

"Well, I wanna turn my bag back into a bag. Amy was messing around and my bag is now somewhat of a ginger cat."

"Ok, then." He said some chants and pointed g\his wand at the armful of books she was holding. She felt an electric shock sensation rise up her arm and through her body. "Whoa. That was weird."

"Just think of the thing you want to know and it should just come to you." Amy closed her eyes and thought hard. A bit too hard actually, when she opened her eyes her brain was involuntarily sending messages down her arm and telling her wand what to do, her arm flung around dangerously but she managed to restore her bag to its original form. Although a nearby bookcase had its books all turned into miniature copies of her bag. Remus went over and opened one up.

"I've always wanted a miniature radio."

"Amy, wake up." Lily shook her awake.

"What?"

"Sirius and James want you to meet them in the common room."

"K."

"Oh, and they said, 'it'll be cold, bring your swimming stuff'." Lily added, looking uberly confused.

"Oh, right. I remember now. Tell them I'll be down soon."

"No."

"Whatever." Amy got changed and rummaged around in her trunk until she found her wand. Then she walked downstairs to meet the guys. They had a map in their hands. Marauder's, she thought. Clever thing. They snuck down stairs and corridors and through secret passageways until they got to the dungeons. Just before the door they stopped and Sirius jumped on the ground five times, said some magical words and a trapdoor appeared.

"Ladies first." He said. She poked her tongue out at him and went down into the dark.

"_Lumos._" she said and walked forward, well down, really. Down steep stairs, she heard the other two coming up [down behind her. She kept walking until suddenly she fell down and slid down and around in spirals, she hit ground.

"Dammit." The other two came rushing down behind her. Because Amy hadn't moved, Sirius flew down into her back and James flew down into Sirius. "Shall I say it again?" She said as she stood up. "Where are we?" In answer, Sirius and James lit two fires in the wall that trailed around the room, lighting the massive space they were in. You couldn't really call it a 'room' because you couldn't see the walls other than the long lines of light. Amy started walking forward, then Sirius stopped her.

"Yeah, unless you want your clothes wet, don't take another step." He lifted a torch off the wall and showed her where she was about to step. Water. Orange water. It was so pretty. Amy just stared. James was in his boardies already and dived in. The splash was purple. Every ripple and trickle was purple. Orange and purple water.

"How did you find this place?"

"We were waiting for detention and we got frustrated so we were jumping up and down, yelling out our incantations so we could hex the teacher. But we didn't stop jumping so we actually crashed through the trapdoor and we had to build a new one." He smiled. "So, you gonna get in?" He said as he took off his slippers and jacket.

"Mmhm." He bombed. Amy got covered in purple splashes. She was wearing her boardies and swimmers so she chucked her shoes off and dove in. [you know, it wouldn't be possible for all these things to actually fit into her schoolbag but lets just say it was PE Very elegantly, I might add. She surfaced. The water was orange and purple but she could still see her feet. Very cool.

"So why is it orange?" She asked.

"We don't really know." James said.

"It changes colour every day." Sirius said.

"Awesome." She said.

"Yesterday it was blue." Sirius said.

"Blues not very impressive."

"It had glowing green splashes."

"That's cool. Can we come here tomorrow?"

"Uh, ok. If you really want to." James said. They just swam around for a while, talking about school until Amy said. "Let's see how much water we can splash out of the, uh pool?"

"Ok." James said.

"Me first." Amy jumped up out of the water, ran over to the spirally slide, turned around, ran up, jumped up and flipped into the water. Not very much water splashed out. She swam over to the edge and splashed as much water out as she could with her hands, which proved to be a lot. "Your turn." James jumped out of the water and slipped over on the floor. Amy laughed. He got up, ran up and cannonballed into the water. A lot of purple water splashed out onto the ground. Sirius jumped out of the water, then star jumped up, into the water. Well, into Amy's head, into the water. When he came up to breathe, Amy splashed his mouth full of water. He coughed and spluttered and chased after her, but he couldn't catch her. She swam so fast, it was almost like a mermaid had possessed her. Although she looked nothing like a mermaid, wasn't as vain, didn't have a tail and all that, she could swim like one. Which was very, very fast.

"And, uh, how is it that you can swim so fast?" Sirius said. As he stopped to catch his breath.

"It's no magic if that's what you think." Amy said as she lazily ducked in and out of the water.

"Then how the hell did you do that?" James said, he was, now, truly intrigued.

"Practice. Lessons. Talent." She said, and poked her tongue out at him.

"Can, you teach us?"

"Maybe, if you pay me with something."

"Like what?"

"Uh, money, magic teaching, getting out of class or chocolate. Yeah, bring me chocolate, please bring me chocolate. Please. Chocolate, yes. I'll teach you how to swim if you bring me chocolate, white chocolate. Deal?"

"Uh, I don't know how I'm supposed to get chocolate, but ok." James said.

"Whatever." Sirius nodded. Amy grinned and splashed back into the water. Yay, chocolate. I wonder if this place even has chocolate.

"Hey, I'm tired." Amy said as she got out of the water, grabbed her stuff and headed for the slide, then stopped. "How, are we, supposed to get out of here?"

"Well, uh"

"Don't tell me you don't know?"

"No, we do. It's just that you have to wait until morning to get out."

"Why?"

"You just do."

"How am I supposed to sleep?"

"I dunno. Sleep over there or something."

"But it's wet."

"Then don't."

"Fine, I'll wait." She said, folding her arms and plonking herself down on the ground. "Hmph."

* * *

Diiiiid yaa lowyk it! Good. Now go to sleep, no doubt you're reading this at night, but if you're not then just sleep anyway. Or have some water. Water's good. Gimme feedback. Pweez?


	8. Sad, Strange Little Man

I hate being around people who make you feel exhausted by just talking to them; you have to try really hard to be yourself. And that makes it harder to be yourself around other people. So, my advice, steer clear of those people.

* * *

"Are youse gonna get out of the water?" Amy yelled over in the direction of the two splashing and attacking each other in the orange water.

"Uh, yeah. Why?" James said.

"I don't know, you're pissin me off." She grumbled back.

"If it means that much to you, we'll get out." Sirius said, jumping out of the water.

"Good." Amy said, grumpily. James jumped out too and he and Sirius exchanged glances.

"What's up with her?" James whispered as he grabbed his stuff and walked over to the wall.

"Dunno, she's acting like a bitch though." Sirius whispered back.

"Oi! That bitch can hear you." Amy yelled over.

"Sorry." Sirius said and walked over to her, James following. "So what's up?" He said. James was silent, he was scared.

"I'm a chick and I'm tired, what more is there to say?" She looked severely pissed off.

"Ok. I'm tired." James yawned. "I am going to bed." Amy raised her eyebrows. "Well, you know…" He lay down on the ground and rolled around a lot until he fell asleep and started snoring very loudly. Sirius and Amy edged away slowly.

"You don't snore do you?" Amy said, smiling.

"No." He laughed.

"You laugh a lot."

He laughed again.

"At nothing." She said, a bit baffled.

Sirius sighed. "Yeah. I know."

"So what have youse got planned for tomorrow?" Amy asked.

"Uh, I'm going out with this chick."

"Who is it? Is it that Hazel chick from a couple of days ago?"

"No, I can't remember her name."

"That's a bit sad you know."

"I know."

"So you don't have, like, a constant girlfriend?"

"No."

"And you can't remember half their names."

"Yeah."

"Has James _ever_ had a girlfriend?" Amy said, looking over at the snoring lump on the ground.

"No, he's turned down heaps of chicks because he only really likes Lily, and then I go out with them."

"Good system."

"I know."

"You've said I know a lot in the past few minutes."

"I know."

"It is really annoying."

"I kn- ok."

Amy laughed. "You're weird."

"I know." Amy slapped him.

"Don't."

"Note to self: don't say 'I know' in front of Amy." He said, rubbing his face.

SLAPPO!

"WTF WAS THAT FOR?"

"You said it again."

"Damn you."

"I'm not really tired."

"Neither."

"What do you wanna do?"

"No idea, what do you wanna do?"

"No! You will not start that! Of all the repetitive things in the world I hate that the most! DO NOT!"

"Uh… ok."

"Good."

"You know?"

"What?"

"You are freaky when you're mad."

"Thankyou." Sirius had a bewildered look on his face. Or was it confused? Don't know don't care. You get the picture anyway.

"So…"

"Soo…"

"Sooo…"

"SoOoOoOo… what? What is it?"

"I dunno, I had to say something."

"No you didn't."

"Well, it felt like I had to."

"Well you have strange feelings for things then."

"What?"

"Your feelings are so wrong."

"That didn't…"

"Wait, that didn't come out right."

"Don't worry, I know what you mean."

"Why don't you retaliate little man? You just sit there like an idiot, not doing anything."

"Maybe I don't believe in violence."

"Yes, Sirius and maybe I'm a supermodel."

"I thought you would be."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"I was kidding, moron."

"Hey! Be nice to me alright?"

"Why?"

"Because, I've been nice to you!"

"Yes, that has been puzzling me."

"Why is that puzzling?"

"Because I've been an evil, annoying little thing this whole time."

"Well, you've been evil but having an evil girl like you hanging around isn't annoying as such, it's more…"

"Why _are_ you being so nice anyway?"

"Uh, maybe it occurred to you that I like being nice?"

"No, it didn't. Because that's not why, is it?"

"Uh, maybe."

"You know, those are the most annoying words a guy can say."

"I know."

"Other than them." Amy punched him. Hard.

"OW! Why do you keep doing that?"

"Maybe it has occurred to you that I like punching people?"

"That, I can believe."

"And I hate your guts."

"That, I don't want to believe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Uh, nothing."

"I should stop saying I kn-… I mean, those two words."

"So, what have you been doing of late, Mr Sirius?" Amy said, lying down on the ground, staring at the stars, or roof of the cavern. It'd be better if it was stars though, don't you think?

"Uh, getting hurt by you." He said, lying down next to her and shoving his hands behind his head in a relaxed-type fashion.

"Other than that."

"Oh."

"What'd you do in the holidays?"

"Uh, I stayed at James's place for most of it, met hot chicks, went overseas, ran away from home, helped James regain his attitude which he seems to have lost since you lot got here. Uh, I think I might've seen Peter at the market but that could've been someone else."

"Hey, where is Peter anyway?"

"No idea. He's missing."

"You don't sound too concerned."

"That's because I'm not."

"I don't think anyone has even noticed."

"Neither."

"Hmm, what do you know? Loser gets ignored."

"Hey Amy?"

"Yeh?"

"Would you…"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, I…"

"Yes?"

"Could we…"

"SPIT IT OUT BOY!"

"Don't worry."

"Argh, god you're annoying when you do that."

"I kn-… kidding, kidding."

"Ok" Amy yawned. "Now I'm tired. I am going to sleep." Amy lay down ad tried to get comfortable. She stopped moving.

"Amy? You ok?"

"EARGHHHH!" She suddenly screamed.

"What is it? What's wrong? Are you ok?" Sirius was deeply concerned.

"Cold spot."

"On the ground or on your face……"

"On the ground you dipshit."

"Oh."

"God, it's freaking cold in here. You should buy, like a heater or something." She shivered.

"Here, have my jacket." He handed his jacket over to her and she stopped shivering, now warm and content. Then Amy looked over at the now topless Sirius.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I'll---be---f-f-fine---as---l-l-long---as---your---ok." He chattered.

"Ok. Jeez this jacket is big. It goes past my freaking shorts, doesn't look like they're even there."

"O---k-k-k."

"Oh, well. G'night Sirius."

"N-n-ni---ght."

James stood up, yawned and stretched, he could hear the muffled radio sounds from upstairs, the slide had now disappeared into the wall and a set of stairs had appeared on the other side of the lakey, dam, river, pool thing. He looked around for Sirius and that other chick, oh, right, Amy. She's cool, I wonder why she was so weird last night. He thought.

He found them in a corner, kind of under the stairway part of the slide that had disappeared. Amy was splayed out like a starfish in Sirius's jacket and Sirius was lying really close to her, shirtless, looking really cold, shivering actually. There were two ways one could interpret this situation. One was what had actually happened and the other one, let's just say James isn't too bright.

"Oh my fcking god, Sirius how the hell could you?" He yelled, wide-eyed. See, I told you.

Sirius slowly opened his eyes and yawned. "How the what could who do what now?" He said sleepily.

"You freaking… you… how the hell could you do that? You guy slut. You've known her for a day or something and now this?" He ranted on and on and then glared at Sirius. Super mondo glare.

"I didn't do nuthin." He was being a bit slow, it was a morning, after all. "What are you accusing me of anyhow?"

James raised his eyebrows. "Dude, your lying shirtless next to a chick, asleep, who is wearing your jacket and no pants."

"What? You think? You think I'd? What the hell?" He stammered out, sitting up now. Yes, he was lying there the whole time. It now finally catching up with him as to what his friend was saying. "One: I would never do that. Two: especially not around you. Three: in a cave. Four: With her… wait. Anyway, five: She has pants on. Shorts. My jacket is massive so you can't see them."

"Yeah, mate, sure."

"I am serious, how could you accuse me of that anyway!" He shouted. Amy was now slowly waking up because of the shouting, although I bet she wished she hadn't. And I bet James wished she hadn't.

"Guys, turn it down please. Sleepy here. So tired. Stayed up too late, no energy." She yawned.

"You see?" James yelled, looking even more convinced.

"Well it didn't happen! You sick minded person!" Sirius screamed.

"There is so much proof here, there is no point in hiding it!"

"YOU HAVE NO PROOF BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"

"YES IT DID!"

"NO IT DIDN'T, YOU FREAK!"

"**HELLO!**" Amy screamed. "Now my ears are ringing." She rubbed her head. "Would someone kindly tell me what teh fook is goin on here?"

"I know what happened last night and Sirius is denying it!" James yelled.

"Quietly please!" Amy screamed.

"Well, he keeps saying it didn't happen because he thinks I'll tell everyone but I won't!" James said, a little quieter this time but still yelling.

"What do you keep saying didn't happen?" Amy asked. Poor girl.

"Ah, well, he thinks that, uh, that we…" Sirius walked over and whispered that last bit.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!" Amy screamed, jumped up in her oversized jacket and charged at James. She probably would've killed him if Sirius hadn't stopped her. He held her back as she swung punches and screamed at the same time. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK THAT! HOW THE HEL DOES YOUR SICK LITTLE MIND GET AROUD THOSE PERVERTED THOUGHTS! WHY THE HELL WOULD THAT HAPPEN? YOU FREAKING LITTLE… AARGH! YOU PIG! YOU TAKE EVERYTHING SO OUT OF CONTEXT! USE THAT LITTLE PEANUT OF A BRAIN NEXT TIME!" After a while, Amy had to breathe so James tried to defend himself because he was still convinced.

"Well, why else would you two be like that?"

"DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT I WAS COLD SO HE GAVE ME HIS JACKET?"

"Well, why aren't you wearing any pants?"

"THIS JACKET IS FREAKING HUGE! COVERS UP MY PANTS, I AM WEARING THEM!"

"Well, why were youse sleeping so close together?"

"I DON'T KNOW! ASK SIRIUS! MAYBE HE WAS COLD BECAUSE HE HAD NO FREAKING SHIRT ON!"

"So? Sirius, tell me why."

"I was freaking cold, and you two were the only warm things in the room and I wasn't gonna huddle up to you, you snore so freaking loud." Sirius said angrily. Amy laughed and stopped trying to kill James for a millisecond.

"You guys just looked like you'd been, I dunno, doing... some things." James said. Amy resumed trying to kill him with Sirius holding her back, she was running against his strength and was getting tired quickly.

"YOU PERVERTED LITTLE DICKHEAD! NO WONDER LILY WON'T GO OUT WITH YOU! YOU FEREL LITTLE BASTARD!"

"I just thought, you know, because Sirius liked you so much, that –" then Sirius let go of Amy and it was like the biggest build up of pressure ever, she shot forward, arms swinging around violently. She hit James so many times without even trying to, it was a reflex kind of thing because she's been standing there punching air for so long. After that wore off though, she didn't stop, she punched him so hard in so many places. She then kicked hard, really hard. In a really painful place for guys.

"No kids for you!" She yelled. James's eyes popped out and he doubled over in pain, cowering on the ground for quite some time. "Mwa ha ha ha ha!" She cackled. "Ok, let's go." She grabbed Sirius's arm and dragged him towards the newly-formed staircase. As they were walking up those stairs Amy spoke. "So, Sirius that was weird, hey?"

"So weird."

"Oh my god, I still can't believe he thought that happened."

"I know." Sirius said, then flinched as Amy lifted her arm up, her hand clenched in a fist.

"Nah." She lowered her fist.

"He is sick."

"He has a dirty mind, perverted little creep."

"I agree."

"So, why did you let me go all of a sudden back there?"

"Uh."

"It's not that I'm not overly happy about that, but why? I knew he said something but I couldn't here because my ears were still ringing from shouting so much."

"Oh, it was just some guys stuff, you know, memory from first year and junk." He rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh, k." She skipped up the stairs until she got to the top. Sirius heard creaking sounds followed by some heavy panting. "A LITTLE HELP UP HERE PLEASE!" Amy shouted from a way up. Sirius ran upstairs and they both tried to move the concrete slab that was the trapdoor, they succeeded and with a grinding sound, it slid across.

"There, done." Sirius said. He turned around to help her out of the hole and she collapsed from exhaustion. Sirius rolled his eyes and picked her up, carrying her upstairs to the dormitory.

Jess sat in the common room with Lily by the fire. She was so cold, she didn't have anything for cooler times because it was summer where she intended to go on that train trip. She sat there shivering, talking to Lily about random happenings at school and wondering where James, Sirius and Amy went, just as two of the aforementioned people arrived, barging through the door. To Lily this looked weird, a shirtless guy carrying a chick wearing his jacket with supposedly no pants on. To Jess, this looked exactly like it had happened.

"Uh, Sirius where were you last night?" Lily asked.

"Secret." He said, putting Amy on the couch.

"Uh, like what kind of secret?"

"One that I can't tell you about, James knows, he can't tell you either though." Sirius said. Lily looked worried.

"So, is James ok?" Jess asked.

"Don't you even care that Amy is unconscious or something like that?"

"Well, I can see that she's tired from beating up some kid and your ok, so…"

"Ok then. So she got really mad at him and attacked him."

"So where is he?"

"Cowering in pain."

"?"

"She ran up and kicked him super mondo hard in a place where a guy doesn't really want to be kicked."

"Oh."

Lily looked very confused, she saw it kind of the way James had seen it but she didn't jump to conclusions, she slowly walked there.

"So you guys did…?" Lily said.

"Nothing. We swam."

"Where?"

"Secret."

"Ok then. So that's all?"

"Oh, you think? Not you too. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Smarter than what?"

"Smarter than James."

"What did James think?"

"Oh, nothing." Sirius said. Lily gave him a quizzical look. Isn't that an awesome word? Well, I think so.

Then they all went down to breakfast (except for Amy of course, she was still in a collapsed daze) to meet a very disgruntled and sore James.

"I hate Amy." James said.

"Why?" Lily asked.

"And Sirius." He glared at Sirius.

"I did nothing, all I did was let go." Sirius said defensively.

James glared harder. "Amy will die."

"You know why she did that?" Sirius said.

"No, not really. Because she likes causing pain?" He said. "Extreme pain?"

"Because you're, as she put it 'a perverted little dickhead, no wonder Lily won't go out with you, you ferrel little bastard.'" He said, giving him a 'well?' look. Please help me describe that look better.

"I don't know why she was so freaking pissed off, it's not like I saw anything." James shrugged. Sirius gave him an 'oh my god, you are such an idiot' look and threw his goblet at him.

"Uh, guys? Still here, you know." Jess said, waving in front of James's face.

"Oh, sorry." James said.

"So what are you guys fighting about, anyway?" Jess said.

"I thought you knew everything?" Sirius said.

"Well obviously I don't." She snapped.

"Ask Amy, I really don't think I can tell you."

"Fine then."

The sound of chatting and laughter filled the hall at breakfast while Sirius was thinking about whether or not to ask out a girl who was sitting two seats down from Lily. Professor McGonagall walked up to the podium and started telling everyone to hush down or she'll force feed them 5 feet, and not all necessarily through the mouth. Ok, maybe in not so many words but that was the gist of it. No one listened. She waited a while, screamed, and then walked down the back to throw a bucket of water over one kid who was still talking. (wasn't that just a hilaaaarious image in your mind?)

A while after that Professor McGonagall walked up to the front of the hall and tapped her magical mike into 'on' mode. Tap tap tap.

"Excuse me students. There have been some incidents occurring that I feel that I must address."

Amy walked in the door, still looking a bit dazed and in Sirius's jacket but not collapsed anymore. "What's going on?" She whispered.

"Some bunch of announcements we need to hear about. Are you ok?" Sirius replied.

"Fine. You?"

"Of course. I'm not the one that almost passed out. Why are you still wearing my jacket?"

"I dunno, it's comfy and I didn't realise I was until a second ago, when you asked me."

"Ok, you know James wants to kill you, right?"

"Mmhmm. Who wouldn't?"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you."

"?"

"Don't worry."

"Ok. I'll make sure that if he tries to hurt me, he will get some nasty surprises. MWA HA HA HA HA!" She whispered, until the last bit when everybody looked at her. She blushed.

"Jess wanted to know why me and James were shouting at each other."

"Yeah, and? What did you say?"

"I said you'd tell her."

"Oh no. You know, that when you tell a girl that someone else will tell her 'the secret' then she will think it is so much more serious and then it spreads so much faster. And Jess is really persuasive. In this case she will take what happened and what James thought he saw and put them together to make a very scary story and when it spreads, it will get worse and worse, like Chinese whispers." Amy looked extremely worried.

"Then don't tell her."

"It's too late now, she'll never give up, now that you've passed it onto me. And she's persuasive at the worst of times."

"Oh shit. What have I done? Can't you just tell her not to tell anybody?"

"You're kidding? A teenage girl with a juicy secret like that in this big of a school, _and_ you ask her not to tell?"

"Mm."

"Yeah, mm." Amy got up.

"Where're you going?"

"If you must know, I have to pee."

"Students, lately there have been some, strange… disturbances. And we thought we could overlook these because it was still your first week back but…It's gotten a bit more serious than having to shut down classes and redecorate. Students have gone missing." Professor McGonagall continued solemnly. Everyone turned and whispered anxiously to their friends.

Sirius was starting his reaction of shocked when someone whispered in his ear.

"What I miss?"

"Aagh." He jumped and turned to see Amy sitting there, expectantly watching. "How did you get here?"

"I walked in the door."

"But you weren't there a second ago, you scared the shit out of me."

"I was so, it's not my fault you're extremely unobservant."

"Ok."

"So what's going on?"

"Some people have gone missing."

"Really? Who?"

"Dunno." He said. Amy had a look on her face, like 'ZOMFJ-S!"

"Ok, settle down. There have been three students go missing, that we know of, so far: Peter Pettigrew, Georgia Wanford and my daughter, Minerva McGonagall. This is serious, if anyone knows anything about this, _please_ tell someone. Nothing will happen to you or them if you do. Thankyou." She said and walked off, with a worried look on her face.

"So far? That means there's gonna be more go missing?" Lily said.

"This is not good." Jess said.

"Does Minerva even go here anymore?" Lupin asked.

"She left six years ago, I think." Sirius said.

"Oh, and students…" All heads turned to the front. Professor Dumbledore was up the front now. "Don't let each other out of your sights."

"Hey Jess." Amy said.

"Yes." Jess was as worried as everyone else.

"I think I found your climax." Amy said.

* * *

So, bad things happen. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Reading between the lines is funneh. So be worried!

Agh. Good luck for easter! CHOCOLATE! meh gives you cyber easter egg 


	9. Teh News To Make It Aaaall Better

So it is not yet Easter while I'm writing this part but I wish it was… Chocolate ish soooo goowd

So it is not yet Easter while I'm writing this part but I wish it was… Chocolate ish soooo goowd. Hmm. Nature is so cool, I just sounded like a total nerd then but it is, if you think about it for a while. You know how it was all created and stuff, not that I'm saying I believe in that stuff, wait, it's not that I'm dissing god or anything, just in case you are like a full-on believer of that stuff, are you? Nah, that's none of my business. Wait, are you?

**Bec!!**

Ok, ill shut up now. REEEAD!

* * *

"So, uh, what now?" Sirius asked.

"No, idea." Lupin replied. Yes, he was there **the whole time**, jusht uberly quiet.

"Are you ok, James?" Lily asked. OMG! civilised talking. Gasp!

"…" Oh yeah, he was glaring.

Amy got up and backed away slowly, then ZOOM! "Uh, I'm gonna go now..." At Amy. (Did that make ANY sense? Didn't think so. U cannot handle the subtle weirdness! Soz too many muffins. XD)

"Hey Amy, wait up…" Jess chased her deranged friend outside. "NOW!!" She stopped. Then started again.

"I am waiting. I'm walking slowly." Amy said. Jess caught her and deadlocked her sleeve.

"Dammit. Heeeeeelp meeeeeeee!"

"You're not going anywhere." Jess said as Amy tried to run away from her evil-grasp-of-the-evil-friend-level-one-kazillion! (Ha-ha, no sense)

"LET" gasp "Me" gasp "GOOOO" gasp "NOOOOW!!" Amy stuck her tongue out when she had concluded that she wasn't going anywhere by grabbing at the air for help.

"What do you want?" Amy asked, deflated.

"I want to know what happened last night."

"I was kidnapped by flying albino monkey cats." Amy said. Jess's eyes went bwip. (The bwip look: the look I don't know how to describe, but its what Izzy does when she goes, "You're so stupid." Uh, how to describe… it's cool and when I see someone do the bwip eyes I just imagine a little sound affect going 'bwip'. Or it could be 'bwap' or 'bworp' or 'bwup' or 'bwop'. I think I'll stick with 'bwip' though, sounds cooler. Ok, shutting up now.)

"Amy?"

"Nothing happened, it's a secret."

"That's what Sirius said."

"That's coz it is."

"So your not gonna tell me what happened?"

"Nup. That information cannot be divulged."

"Hmm."

"Mmmhmm."

"Now I must force it out of you… somehow…"

"You're not going to…."

"Yep."

"NOOOOOOO!"

"I think my brain melted. But, yes, yes, YES! Mwa hahahahahha!"

"HEEEELP! SHE'S A MADWOMAN! SHE WILL USE TEH FORCE AGAINST MEH!" Amy ran away as fast as she could and ended up hitting a tree. THUD

"Holy crap!" Amy fell to the ground in a daze. "Ow." Jess snuck up behind her and pounced (like an evil jeans-donned cat).

"Agh! Haha ha ha…NOOO! Haha ha ha… The TICKLE FOrCE! Ha ha ha… So... HaHA EVIIIIIL! Haha ha ha…" Amy said between fits of laughter, she couldn't really handle tickling all that well, let's just say.

"OK! Ha ha ha… I'LL haha ha… TELLYOU! Ha ha ha…" Jess stopped and Amy sat up. She sighed.

"Ok, well."

"Mm."

"You must always keep this a secret."

"Why….?"

"Oh, just do it. Promise me."

"Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok. Hurry up."

Another sigh. "Ok, well last night I was dragged to this place by Sirius and James."

"Mmm."

"I don't exactly remember where it is, but it was underground and somewhere near the dungeons."

"Ok."

"So I fell down these stairs and there was this awesome place filled with water, like a pool or underground lake or something. It was purple and orange."

"You mean the walls?"

"No the water, you kind of had to be there."

"Ok."

"So after about, I dunno how many hours, swimming I found out that it isn't possible to leave at night, only during the day. And then that was kind of annoying but anywayzertizers, we fell asleep, but it was like a freaking iceberg on the concrete floor so I used Sirius's jacket. His massive, poofy, warm jacket… Anyway, we fell asleep and when James woke up he kind of misinterpreted and I think I scared him… just a little."

"He was cowering in pain."

"Ok, well, I had to. He has a dirty, dirty mind."

"Oka-"

"AND NOW HE SHALL DIE! (Insert cackle here)"

"-ay. Oh…kay… So, what did he think exactly?"

"Well he thought that uh… we…"

"He didn't!"

"Yes he did. And you sounded so much like a posh American stereotype just then."

"Sorry. So…you didn't, right?"

"Right. Wait, no. Uh, what are you asking me, exactly?"

"Don't worry. I don't think I would've believed you anyway."

"Believed what?"

"You have a really bad memory, hey?"

"You only just noticed?"

"No, I only just said."

"So, you're not going to tell anyone what happened, right?"

"You mean, I won't tell them what_ didn't_ happen."

"Right. So, you won't?"

"I won't."

"Coolio."

"Do you wanna go inside now, it's snowing."

"Oh, really?" Amy looked up at the white sky and opened her mouth.

"What are you doing?"

"Eating snow."

"Make sure it's not yellow, or red."

"Or brown."

"Yeah."

"Hmm, does this mean it's almost Christmas?"

"Uh, no."

"You sure?"

"Uh, yeah. We have four more weeks until holidays, let alone Christmas."

"Do you think we'll ever get back?"

"Maybe. I hope we do."

"I wanna be back before Christmas."

"That sounds about right." Jess said, Amy closed her mouth and looked at Jess.

"You wanna go inside now?"

"I just sa-… yes, Amy, I do." Jess rolled her eyes and dragged her friend inside only to meet a very excited-looking James, Sirius and Lily. Remus looked pissed, or just in a non-caring state, at least.

"Hey, guys. Guess what, guess what, guess what?" Lily said, hyperly.

"Uh… you're pregnant?" Jess said. Lily gave her the 'bwip' eyes. (oh, I know, it goes -.- it's like rolling your eyes with your eyes closed, if that makes **any** sense)

"No! Dumbledore said if this keeps going on, you know, the, uh… bad stuff, we'll have to evacuate the school to safety." James said. He'd completely forgotten about Amy and her evil kicks of doom.

"Why is that good?" Jess asked.

"Becaaaause… that means we might get to leave school early. Almost a whole three months of holidays!" Lily said.

"Well, if that happens where are we supposed to go?" Jess said. Amy was now jumping around hyperly like the rest of them.

"Well… we all get to go to James's place! Sorry Lupin." Sirius said, overly-happy.

"Is ok." Lupin said. He was still hyped up over holidays. Well, who isn't? And Christmas holidays, at that.

Amy's eyes widened and she squealed. "You mean, we get to stay with you two?!" She pointed at Sirius and James so excitedly/violently, that she poked James in the eye, although I'm not sure it was an accident.

"Yeah!" James said, his happiness not faltering because of his pain, of which there was a lot of nowadays.

"Awesome." Jess seemed happy, but not exasperated, so naturally Amy worried.

"Are you ok, Jess? You're not squealing!" Amy said, Jess just raised her eyebrows and Amy was succumbed (another totally awesome word!). For about two seconds.

"So, is it official or anything?" Amy squealed.

"Uh, not yet. We just need two more people to go missing and… SCHOOL _IS _**OUT**!" Lily said, dancing at these last three words. The three girls (Amy, Lily, Jess…duh!) jumped around hysterically, squealing and laughing.

Finally Remus spoke. "Um, guys, any one of us could go missing." All went silent, except for Amy who was still laughing her head off until she realised that she looked like a complete idiot and stopped.

"Well, way to burst our bubble." Amy said sulkily and stormed out, dragging Lily and Jess behind her.

Sirius and James looked at Lupin with bwip eyes. "I was just saying!" He said defensively.

**_MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINSMUFFINS_  
**

NARRATORS MOMENT!

So, for two weeks, everything was fine and dandy for our merry clan. They did schoolwork. Only twice, but they still did it. They went swimming again. This time with blankets, pillows and Jess. They got into trouble a couple of times, but they managed to get away with breaking a whole wall because of Amy being a completely annoying girl to the Griffindor guys again. (Yes, she has an obsession with waking up guys at five in the morning, but this time with persuaded help.) They have very quick tempers, and strong shoulders. (Yes, a WHOLE wall. It amazed me too.) It was fine and dandy, as I already said and these people had a happy schooltime, with James still not succeeding in asking Lily out and with Sirius out every other night with a different chick. You'd think he'd run out of variety, but it's a magical world, so he didn't. Lupin and Jess still succeeding in pissing off the others by running away, pretending to be doing homework but were out learning to ride a broomstick (Jess, of course) which proved to be awesome fun for that said person. Fine and dandiness continued until one fateful day when Dumbledore dumbfounded. (the school)

**_MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINS MUFFINSMUFFINS_**

Everyone was sitting at breakfast again, because they have breakfast every day, like you (Well, you should!). Jess was eating a waffle dripping with syrup and Amy was munching into a chockie-chip muffin (MUFFINS!) so violently that it looked like the muffin and wafflez would EXPLODETH. Or the girls would. Sirius, James and Lupin were just staring at them.

"You know, you _will_ eat again. At lunch. In two hours." Lupin said. They both looked up at him and said.

"Mmmhmm." With a mouthful of food.

"So, I take it you guys won't be dieting anytime soon?" James said. Both their eyes went bwip. And then Jess went into mock hysterics (remember, James dumb).

"What are you talking about? Are you saying I'm fat?! Well, then. Here's what I think of you Mr." And she stuck her finger up at him while Amy laughed and coughed her way through the rest of her muffin and James sat there, dumbfounded (another totally awesome one! I should make a book of totally awesome words, I'll call it 'Teh Book Of Awesome Wordles', ok, shutting up now.) "How could you be so horrible." Mock crying here. "I don't know why you're so dumb, you bastard."

"Why does everyone keep calling me that? And I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I just meant tha-"

"No. I know what you meant. I'll never eat again." Now Jess was doing the superbly-awesome-fun-mock-moodswings-just-to-confuse-people. My own creation.

"But, you're not…"

"Unless you want me to?" She said, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Did I miss something?"

"Was it me? Aww. You missed me. You're so sweet."

"Um…"

"You mean, you didn't miss me." Ooh, cold. Brr.

"Wait…"

"Oh, so that's how it is." She folded her arms. Sirius and Amy were cracking up.

"No, it's not, it's…"

"You are the worst bastard." She threw the syrup-covered waffle in his face. His jaw dropped. Probably letting in syrup. It oozed down his face and plopped onto his plate.

"I…" He raised his finger in protest but Jess interrupted.

"Oh, no. I am sooooo sorry. I sometimes get like, so totally overworked and I, like, go soooooo crazy, it is like, soooooo totally wieerd." She said, flicking her hair.

"But, you just…"

"Here, let me wipe that off for you." Jess said, leaning over and unsplodging his face of syrup by licking it off. (remember, FaKE moodswings here)

"…" He just looked confused. (like this o.0")

"What's wrong, I don't get it. Uh…" She was now 'confused'.

"You're not the only one."

"So, you hate me? But I thought…." And she bursts into (fake) tears.

"Ok…"

"Oh, it's alright, I'm not mad. I hope you're ok though." Happy now.

"…" He sighed.

Professor Dumbledore walked up the front and tapped his magical mike into 'on' mode (Tapity tap tap.) before Jess could do any more damage to James's brain and Amy and Sirius's laughboxes. Plus, I can't think of any more emotions. That was totally fun.

"Students, as you may (or may not, for Amy) recall, the school has been facing some difficulties and some strange disturbances. Such as the storm, where three people have died, that time when that wall disappeared and the disappeared students." He paused. "So, as law, we are required to send you home early if this continues. Two weeks early, in our case. And there have been more incidents. Three more students have gone missing. Dolores Umbridge, Sue Tenny and Jade Tindal. You are all to catch the next train home tomorrow and will be informed of an appropriate time to return to school, when such a time occurs." (and yes, I know I used my school captains name for the new girl, but I'm not feeling very creative today, ok?)

"Jade Tindal? That's that new girl, right?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, the one that you kind of freaked out." Amy said.

"Me? You're the one who practically knocked my head off!"

"I was just patting you because you were behaving. Like a dog."

"A dog. I didn't do anything!"

"You bit my ear."

"Oh, technicalities, technicalities." Sirius waved it off. Amy lunged at him but Jess stopped her before she devoured his arm.

"So, I guess that this means we should go pack." Jess said whilst still holding Amy back.

"Probably." Lily said.

"Yippee! Holidays for everyone!" James said. "Wait, if you're coming over to my place… I'm gonna need a cattle prod." Jess let go of Amy and slapped him over the head. Amy fell to the ground and flailed around, looking quite stupid.

"Get up, you baka." Jess said.

"I'm not a baka." Amy said. She sat cross-legged on the ground.

"I'm gonna go pack before someone gets hurt." Lupin said, getting up and leaving.

"Me too." Lily said.

"I'm going to leave with Lilian." James said, leaving.

"Uh, I'm going to go if I know you guys won't kill each other." Sirius said. Amy bit Jess's hand. And Jess screamed in pain.

"Ok, that's it." Sirius grabbed Amy by the waist and slung her over his shoulder.

"DAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIITTT!" She screamed at Jess, who was laughing her head off.

"Ok, so… why am I in your room? (dorm/place/thingo/yougetit)" Amy asked. She was confused at the fact that she was now sitting on Sirius's bed watching him pack.

"Because a murder wouldn't have been a very nice addition to that list of bad occurances." He said, not looking up.

"Ok. Wait… what?"

"Don't worry."

"Hmm. So howcome the only people who can be stuffed to pack out of all the guys, are you and Lupin?"

"No idea." Still not looking up.

"Did you even hear what I said?"

"No idea."

"Ok… hmm. Are you serious?" (pun COMPLETELY intended)

"No idea."

"Are you Sirius?"

"No idea."

"So you're not a guy, then?"

"No idea."

"Oh so if you jumped out that window, would you hurt yourself?"

"No idea."

"This isn't really working. It only really works if you say: Yeah, mmhmm, no, or nup. Hmm, what is a way I can do this for no idea?"

"No idea."

"Eeagh. You're so annoying. Stop that."

"No…"

"Yay!"

"…idea."

"Damn you!" She threw a pillow at his head and he tumbled into his trunk.

"I'm stuck!" He wriggled but it didn't work, he was stuck. He wriggled some more and just tipped it over so he was in a very awkward stuck position. Baka.

"Hahaha. Ha. Ha. HAAAA!" Amy danced around, pointing at him.

"Are you going to help me up?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Only if you do something for me."

"What?"

"You have to agree before I tell you."

"Dammit. Ok, then. But only because this really hurts."

"Ok." She clapped her hands together and began her rant. "First of all, you have to get me muffins."

"Uh, ok."

"No, no, no. Wait. You must **make** me muffins. Yes. And then when you have mastered the art of triple-chocolate muffin making, you shall teach me. And then you will sell all your muffins and give the money to meeeeeee! Mwa ha ha."

"You are so weird."

"I know. Muffins for me, ha ha ha! And you must find me some white chocolate, too. Chocolate is good."

"I will if you get me out of here."

"Ok. Shake on it?" She held out her hand. He inched his hand out from the trunk and shook awkwardly. She then yanked him out of the trunk.

"Ow!"

"Ha ha ha."

"You are a violent child. Who's obsessed with muffins."

"But muffins are good."

"True. Now help me pack."

"Ok." After a while of packing, she held up an article of clothing (that I will not describe because it may scar your mind. I'm so nice XD) on the end of a stick.

"Uh… Sirius? Whadda I do with this?" He turned around and snatched it away from her.

"Don't touch my underwear."

"That was underwear?"

"Oh, piss off." He glared and Amy poked her tongue out at him.

"Just go and do something else." He said, stuffing his stuff in his trunk.

"Like what?"

"Go and get all the shit off that desk and shove it in here." He pointed at the desk next to his bed and chucked her a bag.

"Ok." She went over, opened the bag and tipped the desk over so that half of the stuff fell into the bag and the other half landed on the floor.

"Amy!"

"I did not do that."

"I saw you."

"It was gravity's fault."

"Suuure. Just go and pick it up."

"Grr." She poked her tongue out (again) and started shoving all things that were shovable into the little backpack. Then she found something. Something interesting. She picked it up.

"Ooooh. What do we have here?" She asked herself, loud enough for Sirius to hear. He looked up and gawked.

"Where did you find that?"

"On the floor."

"Before or after you knocked the desk over?"

"After."

"Holy shit. Gimme that now."

"No." Amy said and danced up onto his bed so he couldn't get it off her. He lunged at the little red book she held out over the end of the bed. And missed.

"Amy, give me the diary."

"Diary! Oh, yippee." She said, opening it. He jumped up again and missed it.

"I mean, uh, journal."

"No."

"Give it to me."

"Why?"

"You can't read that."

"Why not? Is it about me?"

"Just GIVE IT HERE!"

Amy started reading out at some random page. "Ehem. _Today was our first day back after the holidays and there were two new girls. Jess and Amy. They seem nice. They are a bit strange though. _I am? Oh, I would have never known."

"Wait. It just says nice? And strange?" Sirius stopped trying to attack her arm for a moment to think.

"Uh…" She scanned. "Yer. And that we wear weird clothes and – ooh what's this? Some feelings. Mwa ha ha!"

"But that's all it says about what you look like?"

"Uhu, now let me read teh feelings."

"That's not mine."

"What?"

"It's not mine."

"Uh. So who's is it?"

"No idea."

"Aww. I wanted to humiliate you."

"You can read it now, I give you permission."

"But it's not yours."

"Well, I'm not gonna stop you."

"It's no fun with permission."

"But the person who owns it isn't here."

"Ok."

"Lemme see." Sirius jumped over to read what it said and they both plopped down onto the bed to read this persons innermost feelings.

"So… Where was I? Ah, yes. Teh feelings. …_these new girls are getting on my nerves. And so are their accents. So… Australian! It's annoying. But not like all those 'G'day mayte!' kind of accents you see on tv. It's just… weird… _Hey! That's discrimination against accents!" Amy protested and Sirius snatched it away to continue reading.

"Ok, _…But they don't look any different from girls up here. They look the same. Except for their skin, it's darker. Which looks much better, I must say. They are still as weird as ever, maybe worse, but they are adjusting to our country. And I think I may be adjusting to them. Mainly just one of them. Ok, I think she's totally hot… _Wow. I don't think I should keep reading."

"Ooh, yeah. You will! Or I will make you make those muffins wearing a dress!"

"Ok, ok. _… she is the best looking chick I have ever seen. Maybe it's just me, because nobody else seems to like her that much…_"

"That has to be Jess. Everybody likes me." Amy interrupted. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"What!" Amy said. Sirius just rolled his eyes and kept reading.

"…_her name is Jess. And I think I may even love her. I taught her how to ride a broom yesterday, which was soooooo funny. She sucked at it, which was adorable. She fell off three times. Then I showed her that she had to sit facing forward and she only fell off once after that. Her friend is very strange. James and Sirius showed her the place that they won't show me and I felt pretty bummed. Amy came up looking like some interesting stuff happened. Which wouldn't have surprised me though, because… _um… blah, blah, blah… and then it's just some boring in-depth thoughts about what happened that night. And then we get to the end of that day, which takes up a whole two pages! And at the end it says… _I really hope school gets cancelled, I want to see Jess again, out of school. I love holidays and Christmas when it snows and we can stay inside all day. No full moon! Signed…_dot dot dot." He slammed it shut and stood up.

"Wait, who was it? I wanna knooooooooow!" Amy said, grabbing for the diary. Sirius stood up and hid the little red book away from her.

"I know." Sirius said.

"And I wannaaaaaa!" She whinged.

"Well, you're not gonna."

"But, but…"

"It was kind of obvious anyway."

"No, it wasn't."

"Well it was for me."

"That's because you read it."

"No, it's because I'm competent."

"Hey! That's not fair." She folded her arms and pouted. "You suck."

"I think you should go and pack."

"Well, you have to help me." Amy pouted, dragging him out into the common room. And then she proceeded to attempt to drag him into the girls' room/dorm/thingo/yougetit.

"Uh, Amy, I can't go in there." He pointed out.

"And why not? Are you scared of the _girls_?"

"No! I can't go in there. I literally can't go up the stairs."

"Why not?"

"Some magical rule. The stairs disappear."

"Oh, yeah."

"How would you know that? You live in Australia."

"Oh, yeah. I… didn't…know…"

"Well, I can't go up there."

"Yes, you can. I'll make you." And so she dragged him up the stairs. As soon as Amy was at the top and Sirius was still on the stairs, they formed into a slide and he slid doooown to the bottom and crashed.

"I told you so." Amy said.

"What?"

"I _said_… 'I told you so.' Deaf man."

"But… I said…. And you… Nevermind."

"I won't then."

"Why don't you bring your stuff down here?"

"Now what is the point in me lugging my shit down those stairs _and_ my bag, and then having to lug them all the way back up."

"Ok… one: you only have about five things, two: there are only about five stairs, three: you don't have to lug them back up and four: so I can help you pack."

"Well, I'm not gonna."

"Well then, I'm not gonna help."

"Yes you are. I'm going to make you. Do you have a rope?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why would I have a rope?"

"To climb stuff."

"And I would carry one around everywhere, just to climb stuff."

"If you were smart you would."

"And that is saying a lot, seeing as you don't have one."

"That is beside the point."

"No it's not."

"Hmph. Shut up. Now… do you have a broom?"

"Uh, yeah. Do you want me to sweep or something?"

"No. the flying kind."

"You want me to fly up five stairs?"

"No, stupid. I want you to go outside, fly up to the window, open it; you climb inside and help me pack."

"Ok, now that's stupid."

"No, it's not, you are."

"Uhu…?"

"Well, remember my muffins!"

"Yes, I do."

"Well, yeah."

"Your point being?"

"That you can remember about muffins."

"Interesting."

"Oh, shut up."

"Why?"

"That's not shutting up."

"Whatever." He just looked at Amy for a while. Amy glared at him and thought about her predicament. After a while of thinking she spoke up.

"Just go! Now." She stomped her foot and pointed out the portrait hole. He quietly slipped out and Amy stomped upstairs.

"So what can I do?" Sirius said, clapping his hands together. Amy walked over to her little backpack and lifted it out from a pile of colourful dirty clothes. Sirius shifted over towards her and away from the broom he had jumped off through her window earlier on. He'd discovered that it didn't fit through the tiny window after a few unsuccessful tries and a couple of smashed windows, so he jumped off through the window and let it find its own way in.

"Well, you could gather up all of my electronical stuff and shove it in here." She handed him the backpack. "And any other non-clothical items you can find."

He got to work and Amy bounced around, gathering all of her colourful clothes and articles that she had bought in addition to her original jeans and tank top (if you're asking where she got the money from, Sirius gave it to her, ok?). After she'd done that, she got bored and started jumping up and down on her bed, until she got bored with that and just sat there watching Sirius search for her things.

"How long does it usually take you to pack?" Amy asked, just out of boredom.

"Well, you have a lot of shit." He said, reaching under her bed and pulling out a purple ping pong ball.

"That wasn't my question, was it?"

"Well, no. But it seemed you were implying that I was slow."

"Well, yeah, but I asked a different question."

"Ok, then. It is usually much quicker than this. It's only this slow when I have to pack for you." He jumped up and grabbed a necklace that was hanging from the top of her bed.

"As you said, I have a lot of shit." She took the over-stuffed backpack from him and looked at it. "That seems to have increased in size during the last half hour." She sat on the bed and Sirius intended to too, but he missed and landed on his back on the floor.

"I need to ask you something." He said, turning his head towards her.

"Is it a serious matter?"

"No, well I don't think so, anyway. I was wondering why you had a bunch of roses under your bed." He said, sitting up, cross-legged. Amy's eyes widened and she threw herself onto the floor to look under her bed. She slid under to pull out the mysterious bundle.

"Ow! Dammit!" She yelled at herself and bounced up in pain, hitting her head on the bed. "Ow." She crawled out from under the bed, rubbing her head.

"What did you do?"

"I pricked myself on a thorn. Bloody roses." She sucked her finger and pouted. Sirius sighed and ducked under the bed to get it for her. He handed it to her and she inspected it with her free hand.

"Ooh. A card!" She exclaimed. She stood up and sat on her bed, Sirius next to her, watching her decipher the clues.

"Whatzit say?"

"Uh, it says… _Dear Am's, hope you like 'em. I don't know if you found them, or not. Well, if you're reading this, then you did, of course. Wow, I'm stuffing this up. And running out of space. Agh, that took up more space. And that! Ok, I'll get straight to the point. Hmm, what to say, what to say… well, one: you're awesome. There's actually no other way I can think of to say that, and that sounds pretty crappy, but you are. Two: hmm, other than the first one, I don't think there's anything else. Well, you're weird, but in an awesome way, if that makes any sense. And you fall over a lot, and you talk really fast and loud and you dress crazy. Ok, I'm listing now. Not a good sign. And it's starting to sound very negative, which it's not supposed to. I'm rambling now. Dammit. Hey, you say dammit a lot too. Ok, uh. I really like you Am's and I, well, yeah. You get it. Roses are red, violets are blue, you're awesome and I like you. Wow, that was crap. I hope you get it, any way. Uh, yeah. Tell me if you got this. Well, you don't know who I am so I should probably tell you. Ok, I am… No, my name is… I'm making it sound very formal and/or mysterious. Anywayz, I'm gonna stop writing now so I have enough space to actually say who I _, and then it just stops because he's used every single millimetre of space to ramble on and now I have no idea who it's from!" Amy said frustratedly.

"He's kind of like you, except nowhere near as cool."

"Awesome." She corrected.

"Whatever. He totally stuffed it up. If I did that I would know what I was going to say and not write every single thought I had on the page. And it's messy." Sirius said, touchily.

"I think it's cute."

"It's weird and pointless. Well, not the roses. Because chicks usually like roses and it means that they like you, and will spend money on you. Which isn't that same as spending time with you. Anyone can give away money for a girl." He rambled on. "The card is retarded." He concluded.

"I don't like roses. They hurt."

"They're only gonna hurt someone like you."

"They should've sent chocolate. It can't hurt me. And I like it."

"I'm glad he didn't."

"So I can't have what I want!" She accused, crossing her arms.

"No! It's gonna hurt everyone around you and annoy everyone around you, mostly me. That's why. A teddy bear would've been a good present, it can't hurt you, or me."

"Teddy's are overrated."

"How do you even know it's a guy?" Sirius teased. Amy whacked him with her pillow.

"Not funny! I'm not perverted like you."

"Me?" He said innocently. Amy just got up and started bouncing on the bed again, bouncing Sirius around too. He got bounced around her bed until he lay down to prevent further bouncment. She kept jumping and eventually jumped on him and tripped over. On her bed.

"Ooph." She fell down onto her bed. Well, onto Sirius too.

"What did you do that for?"

"You were the one in the way."

"You were the one who jumped on me."

"Because you were in the way."

"You're bored, too. Hey?"

"Yep."

"What to do, what to do."

"We could wreak havoc."

"I can't think of anything remotely creative."

"Yeah, neither."

"So…"

"Now what?"

"Hmm, I could be a total girl and gossip about peoples clothes and junk."

"Uh, I'd rather you didn't."

"Do you have any idea who roses boy might be?"

"No. Not anyone I know. Or like."

"If you don't know who they are, how do you know if you like them?"

"Well. They like you."

"And?"

"Well, I don't want them too."

"Why not?"

"Because… uh… I don't think we need any other insane people in this school."

"And they'd be insane if they liked me?"

"Mmmhmm."

"You're weird."

"Nup."

"Then what are you, Mr Black?"

"Uncomfortable."

"Why."

"You're still on top of me."

"Oh, yeah." She didn't move.

"That kind of meant 'get off'."

She didn't move.

"Please get off, Amy."

She didn't move.

Sirius sighed and sat up, catching Amy as she slid down towards the floor. He plonked her down onto the ground.

"Why do you keep doing that?!"

"What?" Sirius said.

"Being annoying."

"Uh, I didn't know I was being that annoying."

"Well, you are."

"Maybe you're just very annoyable."

"Uh, I think not."

"Yer, I think you are very annoyable."

"No I'm not. And I'll prove it. I'm going to go and ask people if you are annoying. Which you are, by the way."

"Ok. You do that. And have fun with it."

"I will." Amy stormed out of the room, hands on hips. Sirius held his wrist up and Amy stormed back in.

"You're coming with me." She grabbed his wrist and dragged him out.

* * *

Ok, it is now almost a whole week from Easter. Which proves how slow I write.

I'm feeling very uncreative. Give me ideas please.

Plus I like reviews, so heh. GIMME GIMME GIMME! Ok, I'll shut up.

Actually, no I won't. I'm gonna ramble some more…

Sooooo… how's life? I think I'll join in on the next chapter.

I shall SUDDENLY APPEAR! I think I shall morf into this other dimension and pay a visit to Amy and Jess and Siri. I think they'll like that. Actually, I don't think they'll like it at all, so it should be fun. And lots more OC'S! just to make sure I don't have to pay any attention to the actual storyline. JJ.

I think this will just go on forever. Do you? (Note retoricalness.)

R&R!


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